A Leaf on the Wind
by Sanqhian
Summary: He didn't want to tell them. He couldn't find the words. And they never knew until it was too late.
1. Strange

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter One: Strange**

The day dawned bright and beautiful. The sun was shining, birds were singing. A cooling and gentle breeze kept the heat from being too bad. Speed stood outside the crime lab enjoying the day as it was. Before too long he'd be out at some crime scene looking over the dead body of someone the world no longer wanted. He still found it hard to believe that after all the years that had gone by that this was the job he chose, the job he stuck with. Sometimes at night he'd have nightmares and there were a few nights when he couldn't sleep at all. The things he saw were disturbing. He was one of the few people who understood just how cruel one human being could be to another. Crossing his arms over his chest and closing his eyes he soaked in the rays of the warming sun. He allowed a smile to creep across his lips.

The last few months had been terrible. But finally he felt like he was standing on solid ground. He no longer dreamed about being shot and nearly dying. The pain in his chest was gone, the wound completely healed. He was even beginning to like Ryan, though he wouldn't yet admit it to anyone. The younger man still had a few things to learn. Upon opening his eyes he saw Calleigh and Delko walking toward the lab. They were laughing about a joke that only the two of them knew. He loved to hear Calleigh life. He loved listening to her talk, too. She was often like a breath of fresh air. And where would he be without Delko, his best friend? There was a time when he told himself that he wouldn't get close to anyone else. Not after the devastating death so many years ago. But there was a quality to Delko that just made him immediately likeable. Speed had lost count of all the times they'd spent together, all the events they had attended together.

Alexx wasn't far behind them. She was talking with Ryan, showing him pictures of her kids. She was proud of her children. Speed found that he really admired her. Here was a woman who worked with the dead all day and still had the energy to return home each night to her family. Ryan looked please, smiling and most likely politely asking questions about the children. The young CSI had made impressive improvement since his accident involving a nail gun. Speed counted himself lucky that he hadn't been part of that scene. It would have brought back nightmares of his own injuries. He was over the jealousy he had after finding out that the lab had hired Ryan to work in his place until he got better. Even after he returned to work they decided to keep Ryan as they needed the extra set of hands.

He felt someone step up beside him and turned to see his boss, Horatio. The older man had his hands on his hips and a soft smile on his face. He'd lost count of the years he'd worked with the other man, who had quickly become more than a boss. Horatio had chosen him first and he was currently the only other level three CSI in the lab.

"Beautiful day," Horatio said to him. "I hate having to ruin everybody's good mood."

"It never lasts long, does it?" Speed asked him not really intending to get an answer. "What kind of crime do we have this time?"

"I'm not sure, Speed," his boss replied. "That's what we're going to find out. Tripp has informed me that the deceased has a little boy who was reported missing by his father shortly after his mother was murdered."

"I hate cases involving children," Speed told him.

"We all do."

"Hey, I know that look, we have a case already, don't we?" Calleigh asked them as she reached out to hug Speed. Delko shoved his hands into his pockets, all sense of amusement leaving him. "Just once I'd like to have a day where no one dies a violent death. Just once."

"A vacation would be nice," Delko piped up, following it with a shrug of his shoulders. "But could any of us actually relax without feeling like we're wasting precious time?"

The others didn't say anything in reply. Silence settled over them as they waited for Alexx and Ryan to join the small group. Horatio dished out orders as soon as they were within hearing range. He was always a man of work, striving to give the victim justice as quickly as possible. Speed probably saw more clearly than the others the toll that the job was taking on Horatio. "Speed, you come with me. Delko and Ryan, I want you guys to catch up with the father at work and interview him. Calleigh you'll accompany Tripp if anyone responds to the Ambler Alert."

"I'll get the morgue ready," Alexx said. Before she left their company she kissed Horatio on the cheek. She did it every morning and every evening. Calleigh was the next to leave, going in search of Tripp. Delko got the address for the husband's office before ushering Ryan toward one of the company vehicles. That left Speed with Horatio once again.

"It doesn't amaze me anymore how fast a beautiful day can turn bitter and dreary," Speed told him. He looked down at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Violence never takes a holiday, Speed." Horatio looked at him, his eyes masked by the sunglasses he never went anywhere without. "Are you feeling okay? You look tired."

Speed flashed him a smile that he hoped was reassuring. "Didn't sleep well last night. That last case hit too close to home."

Horatio nodded in understanding. "I know what you mean. There are days when I feel guilty about hiring you guys. There are so many other things you could be doing instead of hanging around the dead and tortured. Delko could be a sports star. Calleigh could be making a lucrative career as a model."

"Calleigh, a model?" Speed chuckled. "Maybe in a gun magazine." He gave Horatio a pat on the back. "Don't worry; this is where we want to be. We all have our reasons."

Horatio smiled. "Let's get to work."


	2. Waiting for the Light to Change

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Two: Waiting for the Light to Change**

He sat in the car drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to the time of the music flowing from the speakers. He didn't know who did the song but it was good. The beat was catchy and the lyrics memorable. It had been hard to find anything worth listening to on the radio stations over the last few months. The music played just didn't speak to him. But he really loved this song. As he drove along he made sure to constantly check his mirrors. Lately things had been rough in the state. A lot of officers and emergency personal were being jumped. Paramedics were being robbed of the medical supplies. Firefighters and cops were being harassed, usually off duty. Even a few of the CSI vehicles had been stopped, evidence stolen. He wasn't going to slip up on his duties. Not when the evidence in his care was part of a potentially violent event. Names could be dropped. Big, well respected figures in the community could be disgraced.

An image of the body at the scene flashed before his eyes. Who knew that one dead woman could cause so many problems? She knew the mayor, three judges, and numerous detectives and political figures. She could have single handily brought down the state of Florida with the knowledge she could have obtained, had she had the time. Someone out there knew what sort of security risk she was. They didn't care that her son would lose his mother, that a mother would lose her daughter. They wanted to silence the secrets before they could be spoken aloud. He hated that people with power thought they were above the law. It made bringing them down and locking them up more enjoyable, more satisfying.

Horatio had stayed behind. He told Speed to take the evidence and go ahead, get it to the lab as quickly as possible. Horatio opted to ride with Alexx and the body. He hadn't been comfortable with the thought of leaving Alexx alone and unprotected. Speed quickly agreed and placed all the evidence in the back of the company Hummer. In a few weeks transporting evidence wouldn't be such a risky job. The lab had ordered several safes to be placed in the back of each one of their Hummers. All evidence was to be placed inside of them once they were installed. The safes would be too big and heavy for anyone to care off, thus making it impossible to steal the evidence without stealing the Hummer; which was a bad idea. All of them were equipped with tracking devices.

The light at the intersection before him turned red. He stepped on the break, slowly coming to a stop. He thought about the weekend plans that he had with Delko and Ryan. The coming weekend marked the first ever cops verse forensic scientists flag-football game. Calleigh had been harping on them for the last two days, trying to get herself on the team. Speed and Delko were hoping to pull some strings and get her added. She'd kick some major ass. Cooper would be playing too. They kept trying to talk Tripp and Horatio into joining the fun but their words fell on deaf ears. Good thing a few people from the night crew were signed up to play, otherwise they'd be players short and have to forfeit.

A little red sports car had stopped to the right side of him. There was an equal fiery red-haired woman sitting behind the wheel. Her skin was tan and her eyes covered with sunglasses. She flashed him a dazzling white smile. He turned away, looking instead at the cars crossing through the intersection. He wasn't interested in woman. Never had been. Though at times he did talk about ex girlfriends. None of them existed. It was a cover for the real feelings that lay inside of him. Only Horatio knew that he was gay. Horatio accepted it, as well as the fact that Speed didn't want the others to know. Not yet. Maybe never.

He switched off the radio, tired of the crap that was now currently pumping through. He hated this particular intersection. The light was unbearably long. He thought about calling Horatio to see how they were fairing with the body. His boss wouldn't joke about him being paranoid. They had to check-up on each other constantly. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the red-head trying to get his attention. She wasn't too happy when she failed. He had to admit, though, the car she was driving was nice. It reminded him of his motorcycle.

All of a sudden the driver's side door flew open. He didn't have time to react as a gun was pressed against his side. He thought of hitting the gas pedal and racing into the intersection. Two things kept him from doing just that. Racing into the traffic would surely cause an accident, maybe even killing someone. That wasn't something he wanted on his conscience. The second thing was the woman in the next car. Judging by the movement to his right they were pulling her from her vehicle too. He didn't want to get her killed.

The man parked at him to unbuckle his seatbelt and to climb out of the car. He did, with shaky hands. Memories flashed in his mind from just a few months ago. He remembered the pain of the bullet as it tore through his skin, the feeling of the warmth as his blood poured from his body. He remembered looking into the eyes of Horatio as he lay there thinking he was going to die. He didn't want to go through it again. Stepping on to the pavement he chanced a glance at the cars around him. No one made an attempt to stop the events. They were being smart, not getting involved in something that would get them killed without a doubt. He raised his hands up, placing them behind his head like he was being arrested. Another man came around the car dragging the red-head behind him. Her mascara had run as the tears flowed freely from her eyes. The man threw her at Speed. She fell at his feet, not bothering to stand.

Quickly, like a well oiled machine, the second man relieved Speed of his service weapon while the first man held a guy on him and the woman. He heard his cell phone begin ringing as the second man reached inside the Hummer for the keys. What felt like hours was really nothing more than a matter of minutes as the second man gathered up the evidence and threw it into the trunk of a dirty sedan that didn't have any license plates. He heard the sobbing of the woman at his feet. She was now holding onto his lower leg and he didn't care. If it made her feel comfortable and kept her quiet she could hold on as tightly as she liked.

The deed was done. The first gunmen cocked his weapon, pointing it straight at Speed's head. The wind ruffled his hair. The woman cried a little softer. In that second he thought of the bullet tearing through his skin, piercing the skull and bouncing around his head making mush of his brain. He had seen it happen so many times before. The sudden wail of sirens changed the gunman's mind. He jumped in the waiting get away vehicle and they tore off into the traffic.

The light finally turned green.


	3. Where Does it Hurt?

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Three: Where does it Hurt?**

Others finally began to climb out of the safety that their cars' gave them. Speed tried to process the fact that he had just been robbed. All the evidence in his car had been taken, and yet, he found himself smiling. Once again his boss had been right on the money. He didn't dwell on that thought. Instead he offered a hand to the woman that was still clinging to his legs. She took firm hold of his hand with a tentative smile. He gently pulled her to her feet. She stood a few inches shorter than him. He would have comforted her if he had known how, and it was probably a good thing he didn't. The gesture mind send her the wrong signals, after all, she had been trying to flirt with him from her car just minute ago.

An unmarked police cruiser pulled into the intersection. The driver was followed by a white van with the words _coroner _written on the side in black letters, much like the way the Hummer sported the label _Crime Scene Investigations. _The driver of the unmarked police car drove through the intersection, pulled up on the median between the traffic going straight and the lane of cars turning left. The turn lane was empty, the light having been green a second ago. The white van followed, parking right in the middle of the left lane. Speed knew that before too long police cruisers would be all over the place, directing traffic while the scene was processed for evidence.

Hagen stepped out of the navy blue sedan, sunglasses protecting his eyes from the glare of the afternoon sun. How he could wear a suit in the Miami heat was something that Speed was still trying to figure out. Horatio was the same way. Sure, it made them look more professional but suits weren't made to breathe. Horatio was right behind the detective, having climbed out of the van. Even Alexx was approaching them.

"Someone called in the report seconds after it began but I take it we're already too late?" asked Hagen as he stepped before Speed and the woman. Horatio looked at Speed from behind his ever present sunglasses.

Alexx hugged him. "I won't lie, when the call came through I got scared, honey. You almost ended up on my table once. I wish this bad luck would stop following you around."

"You and me both," mumbled Speed as she pulled away. He wasn't afraid of getting yelled at by his boss. Nothing important had been lost in the robbery. Alexx convinced that Speed was okay turned her attention to the young frightened woman that Hagen was trying to question. The group walked over to the open hatch of the Hummer to stand in the shade, leaving Speed with Horatio.

"Are you okay?" Horatio asked him. He wasn't asking about physical wounds, Speed knew. He was asking about mentally. His boss had been a little too overprotective that first week when he returned to work. He was still deeply concerned but kept his distance, believing that Speed would talk to him when things got bad.

"I'll live, H," he answered in short. Horatio removed his sunglasses. Speed saw the worry and fear in the pale blue eyes that stared at him. "Really, I'm fine. I think I was more concerned about them hurting the girl. I didn't give them any reason to shoot me. I did everything they said to do, kept my hands where they could see them, and kept my mouth shut."

"That's good to hear," Horatio said, looking down at the ground. "We made a good call today, Speed. We saved the evidence in an important case."

Speed smiled. "It was your thinking; I just had to carry out the plan. It wasn't easy." All the evidence in the back of the Hummer had been faked. None of the blood on the clothes or on the knives was real. It had been hard to slip the real evidence bags into the back of Hagen's unmarked car. He had to make sure no one could see him doing it, while placing the fake evidence into the Hummer was done so anyone could see. The plan had worked. Horatio had been right that the Hummer would be targeted. No one had known one hundred percent that the H2 would be hit, but it was better safe than sorry. Or as Calleigh had told him once, better paranoid than dead.

"Calleigh is back at the lab waiting for the evidence. Delko and Ryan will be here shortly to process the scene. I want you to stay and give Hagen or Tripp a full account of what happened, okay?" Horatio said to him. Speed nodded in understanding.

He gently stripped off his shirt. "There might be some evidence on this. One guy reached into the car, the other one touched me when he pulled my gun free of the holster."

Horatio nodded in understanding. Speed went to sit in Hagen's car while he waited for the others. Cops began to show up to direct the traffic and interview those that had gotten the best view of what happened. They'd all say the same thing about the dirty car and the masked men. Delko and Ryan arrived to process the scene. They both checked up on him, refraining from making wiseass remarks at his expense. This was no laughing matter. Not when he came to him. Every once in a while he caught Delko looking in his direction as though to make sure he was still okay, that he was still alive and not being rushed to the hospital fighting for his life. Horatio sent a patrol officer to escort Alexx and the body back to the lab. He was to do it as fast as possible. The rest of the evidence stayed behind as Hagen continued to talk to people. Eventually he came over to talk with Speed and to get his statement about what had taken place. The event played out for him like a movie in his mind. He told Hagen everything he remembered. The moment before, the moments after. At the end he made the comment that if the light had only changed a fraction of a second sooner none of it would have happened. He had one more reason to hate that particular intersection.

The hours ran by, the sun sank lower in the sky. Speed was beginning to feel a slight pain in his neck and his head as a tension headache began to settle in. He hadn't told the others but he'd been experiencing them a lot recently, especially after a trying event. Horatio must have sensed something was wrong because he came over to talk with Speed.

"You look tired and like you're in pain. Is something wrong?" he asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"Just a headache. I got held up here so I didn't get to eat lunch," Speed explained to him hoping that the answer would be good enough. "Not to mention, I really need to make a pit stop in the men's room. And the feeling half naked, not working for me."

Horatio smiled. "I'll have Hagen drive you back to the lab. Take the rest of the night off. Get changed, have some dinner, take care of that headache. Tomorrow we process the evidence."


	4. Superstar

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Four: Superstar**

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. It was fruitless, though, as he tossed and turned all night long, reliving the events of the past. He dreamed of being shot in the chest. He dreamed of being held up by gunpoint just hours ago. There were dreams of the others as they each encountered one near-death experience after another. It was the job they worked. A job they chose to do that put them in such danger. Sometime after two in the morning he gave up trying to sleep. He opted instead to take a long hot shower and to read over the newspaper from yesterday. He hadn't had the time to read it before. He rarely got the chance to read that paper at all and couldn't figure out why he still had it delivered. Maybe he would cancel his subscription. Another hour passed before he grew bored with reading the day old news. He fired up his computer to get a look at news that was a bit more recent.

That's when he saw his name mentioned. Last time his name had been in print it had been a story about the shooting at the jewelry store. Now there was a story about yesterday's hold up and it proclaimed him as a hero. The title didn't sit well with him. He wasn't a hero. He was just doing his job. The others would have done the same thing. Wouldn't they? Annoyed he shut the computer off and flopped onto the couch. He wasn't due into work for another few hours and there was nothing to do in his apartment. Outside the sky was still dark. Maybe the temperature wasn't too bad and he could enjoy a nice jog. Throwing on a pair of sweats he headed out of the apartment, locking his door behind him. Only one other person crossed his path as he took the stairs down to the ground floor. He liked using the stairs as a warm-up for his jog.

Stepping into the cool night air he inhaled deeply. He could smell the saltiness of the ocean on the air. Like anyone else he preferred it to the smell of car fumes. Sometimes he thought about moving back home but never really got up the courage to go. His mom wasn't happy about his choice of job or that he was so far away but she understand that he did what he felt he needed to do. His father barely spoke to him anymore. It was really for the best. Every time they did talk they usually ended up arguing about one thing or another. That was added stress that he didn't need in his already hectic life.

As he took off down the sidewalk he thought about Delko and how he had come to like him as more than a friend. He loved the color of the other man's skin and the way his eyes matched the color of his hair perfectly. He readily admitted to himself that he really enjoyed seeing Delko in a wetsuit when the need arose. Too bad Delko didn't seem to share the same feelings. No, it was Ryan that had some infatuation with Speed, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what kind of infatuation it was. The newer CSI just wasn't his type, never would be either. As he turned right to run around his block he tried to think of happier things. Maybe he would call home, just because. It had been a few months since he'd last spoken to his mother. Neither one of his parent's knew about his nearly dying. For the longest time he had listed Horatio as his next of kin. He knew that he could trust the other man, that his boss would understand just about anything. It was the kind of man that he was.

He made another right turn. His head began to slowly hurt as a headache crept up on him. He was quickly growing tired of the numerous headaches. He had gone through two bottles of Aleve in as many weeks. That wasn't normal. All of a sudden the pain came at him full force and he stopped dead in his tracks, placing his hands to the side of his head. He closed his eyes, willing the pain away. The ground beneath his feet swayed and he fell to his knees. He didn't even feel it as his knees connected with the cement sidewalk. He was more worried about the blinding pain in his head. After what seemed like an eternity the pain slowly washed away, leaving him seeing black spots dancing in his line of vision. With a shaky hand he called his doctor, the one who had treated him for the gunshot wound. Maybe this was some lingering after effect of the incident. The man on the other end of the phone sounded concerned and urged Speed to see him as soon as possible that morning. Speed assured him that he would be by first thing; he just had to call his boss. They hung up.

He found that he couldn't get the courage to call Horatio. He didn't want his boss to know that something was up, that something was wrong with him. He couldn't take the concern in his friend's voice. He also didn't want to give Horatio anything else to worry about. There was enough to deal with as it was. No, he wouldn't call in. He would just have to think up some lame excuse for his being late. Something that Calleigh and Delko would readily accept. He knew that no matter what lie he came up with Horatio would never believe him. He also knew that Horatio wouldn't question him, thus leaving him with only one problem, the guilt that lies created. Standing on wobbly legs he began to walk back to his apartment, taking one step at a time. He would have to find a ride to the doctor. Maybe a cab. But how would he explain that to the people at work? Simple, he thought with a smile, he could tell them that he was having trouble with his motorcycle. He would just have to avoid using it for a few days, that would be simple.

Finally returning to his apartment he opted to take the elevator instead of the stairs. As he pushed the button for his floor he thought about the article he'd read online not too long ago. So much for the hero status they granted him. he wasn't much of a hero if a headache could bring him to his knees.


	5. Move On

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Five: Move On**

The words echoed in his mind over and over again like a broken record. He kept hearing the doctor, kept hearing the diagnosis. The words were unreal. His headaches weren't just headaches anymore. There was more to them, more than he ever wanted. He ran a hand over his eyes, wiping away the tears that had formed. It wasn't fair, the situation that life had put him in. It had only been months ago when he nearly died. Now, now he couldn't help but wonder why it hadn't happened then. Why did he get a few more months of life if it had the possiblity of being cut short? There was a chance he wouldn't have time to do all the things he wanted. Not anymore. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the headrest.

He was supposed to be on his way to a crime scene but how could he concentrate on his job with his own possible demise hovering on the horizon? He felt the hot tears spring to his eyes once again and this time he didn't bother to fight them. There was still so much that he wanted to do with his life. He was too young for things to be over. There was too much life left in him. He thought about calling home to talk to his parents but how could he tell them? What words would make them understand? How could he keep them from being in pain? And then there were the others, his friends, his coworkers. They would find out eventually. Everyone would. Not from him, no. He couldn't tell them. He didn't have the strength to worry them or to deal with the sorrow in their eyes. He didn't want the sympathy. He didn't want them to constantly worry about him.

Trying to compose himself he started the engine. He would have to learn to keep this problem quiet. But what would he do with the time that he had left? He shook his head. That wasn't the way to be thinking. Right now he needed to think of the here and now. He needed to think of the crime scene he was driving to. Someone needed his help in finding justice. And that's when the answer came to him. He would spend his days doing what he always did. Helping those who couldn't help themselves. That was what he had dedicated his life to and that's the way it would remain.

Pulling up to the curb a neat little white house he couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to go wrong. Grabbing his kit from the back he began walking up the driveway. Parked on the cement was a fiery red sports car that looked oddly familiar. Where had he seen it before? He lowered his sunglasses to get a better view of the vehicle. There wasn't a speck of dirt on it and no trash inside. Someone treated the car with kid gloves. He shook his head. Even he didn't treat his bike that way. A little dirt never killed anyone, after all. He turned to walk toward the house only to find Horatio standing a few feet away. He jumped in surprise. When he had gotten out of the Hummer he had been the only person in the yard.

"It's not polite to sneak up on people at crime scenes," he remarked with a smirk.

Horatio smiled. He looked even more tired around the eyes today noted Speed with a slight hint of worry. "I'm sorry to have called you out here, Speed. Looks like you'll have to return to the lab."

"What? Why?" he asked in confusion. He wanted to go inside. The heat of the sun was beating down on him, making him hot and uncomfortable. Once again he questioned his decision to move this god forsaken oven of a state.

"Conflict of interest, Tim," Horatio answered him, removing his sunglasses. "The woman inside is the same one from yesterday. I know that you don't really know her but for the record; I don't want you working this case. If we catch the person responsible for her murder they can us you against us."

He flashed Horatio a reassuring smile. "It's okay, I understand. I can process the rest of the evidence from yesterday's case. You want me to call Delko and have him take my place here?"

"Thank you, Speed, but I've already covered that," responded Horatio. His eyes searched those of his younger companion. "Is there something on your mind, Speed?"

"No," he found himself lying again. He really didn't have the heart to tell Horatio what was on his mind. He still couldn't find the words to say what the doctor had told him. "Well, that evidence isn't going to process itself. I should be getting back to the lab."

Speed made haste in leaving the crime scene behind. As he drove away he remembered the red-head from yesterday and how she tried so hard to get his attention. Why would anyone want to have her killed? Perhaps he could sway Delko to keep him informed on the case. That reminded him that he hadn't given his friend an answer. When he had gotten to the lab that morning there was a note taped to his locker from Delko wanting to know if he was free for a drink tonight. Of course, he hadn't seen Delko since arriving at work so there hadn't been time to answer him. He would have to give the other man a call since they weren't going to see each other in the next few hours. Delko would be working the field and he would be buried somewhere in the Trace lab processing evidence.

He turned the Hummer left onto the road that led to the lab and for the second time that day he saw a car that he recognized. It was the same dirty sedan from yesterday. The fact that it had a Florida license plate didn't change anything. Speed would never forget the look of that car. He had had plenty of time to take in every speck of dirt while standing there with his hands behind his head. There was no doubt in his mind that the car in front of him belonged to the same jerks that held him up. He quickly pulled into the lab and parked the massive Hummer in the first free spot he found. Luck was on his side as Frank came strolling out of the building. He ran up to the officer, taking a quick glance toward the road. The dirty sedan was sitting at a red light.

"Frank, can I borrow the keys to your car?" he asked in a rushed voice.

Frank looked at the recently parked H2. "You were just driving a perfectly good vehicle. What do you want with my car?"

"There isn't time to explain," Speed told him. "The Hummer is too noticeable. So can I borrow your keys or not?" He glanced at the street again. The light was going to turn green any moment and he'd lose them.

"That doesn't leave me with anything to drive," Frank said as he pulled his keys from his pocket.

Speed tore the keys from his grasp and gave Frank the keys to the H2. "Thanks, Frank. I promise to bring it back in one piece," he yelled as he ran toward the car.

"Why do I feel like I just made a big mistake?" Frank said at loud. Calleigh, who had come up behind him placed a hand on his shoulder and laughed.


	6. No Place To Go

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Six: No Place to Go**

The light turned green a few seconds before he turned into traffic. With a couple of lane changes he soon had the dirty sedan in his sight, making sure to keep a car between them so as not to tip off the driver. Weren't the occupants going to be surprised to see him again, he thought as he followed them. His cell phone began to ring. No doubt it was Horatio calling him to check on things. Frank had probably called H to see what the hell was up. He ignored the ringing, concentrating instead on the car in front of him. He didn't want to miss a thing. What if they had been responsible for the murder of the red-head and were in fact just coming from the crime scene? There could very well be important evidence in the car. An explanation would just have to wait until later.

The car turned right onto a resident street. He followed. His cell phone began to chirp with the notification of a voice mail. He let it be. The dirty sedan was now in front of him and the driver didn't seem in the least bit concerned about the car following him. Speed chewed on his bottom lip as the driver of the sedan broke the law by racing through a stop sign and driving five miles over the speed limit. He made sure to stop at every stop sign so as to not draw attention to himself. Another twenty minutes passed before his cell phone began to ring again. Checking the clock he realized that he'd been tailing the sedan for a nearly two hours. It sure hadn't seemed like it had been that long. The ringing of his phone became more insistent. He reached for it, pulling it from the holder on his belt and hit the _vibrate_ button. The ringing instantly died. The little piece of equipment began to vibrate in his hand. He threw it onto the passenger seat.

Horatio was going to chew him out when he returned to the lab but he didn't care. Even if the guys in front of him weren't responsible for the murdered woman they had stolen evidence from the back of law enforcement vehicle. It didn't matter that the evidence was fake; they had still broken the law. Not to mention, they had ruined his day. He watched as the sedan pulled down a dead end street. Thinking quickly he pulled over in front of house that looked empty for the time being. He shut off the engine and waited for the sedan to drive further down the dead end before getting out the car. It was now late afternoon and people would be home from work soon.

Checking the street for traffic he jogged over to the other side and began to casually stroll along the sidewalk. The sedan was far enough ahead of him that the occupants wouldn't be able positively ID him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and began to whistle a tune. An old man was sitting on his porch, a newspaper in his lap. He smiled at Speed as he walked by. Speed returned the gesture in hopes that he wouldn't alarm the old man. The sedan pulled into a drive way at the very end of the road. With dismay Speed saw that most of the houses on the road were for sale. It shouldn't have surprised him. More and more houses went up for sale as the cost of living in Miami got more expensive. He'd have to tweak his plan a bit. He couldn't just walk up to an empty house and pretend he was visiting an invisible person. That would draw attention and that's the last thing he wanted to.

He checked his watch, acting like he had some appointment to keep. He crossed the street and began heading back toward Frank's car. When he passed the old man's house the guy was gone. There was a light in the living room that hadn't been on a few minutes ago. Would he get the chance to be an old man, he wondered as he hung his head.

At the corner he ducked behind the nearest house, traversing through the backyard. If he kept himself hidden he would be able to make it to the house at the end of the street. Lucky for him the owner's of the occupied homes were away at work. It took him another twenty minutes to find his way down the street, making sure that no one could spot him at any moment. When he finally reached the yard of one of the neighboring houses he crouched down behind a bush and waited. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for but he'd know it when he saw it. Only a few of the lights were on in the house and he couldn't make out any shapes. Realizing that he wouldn't be able to get a closer look until night fall he sat behind the bush and tried to keep his mind sharp. Every once in a while his mind would drift. Either he would find himself thinking about the doctor visit or wondering what his friends were doing now. Were they looking for him? Was Horatio yelling at Frank for letting him go off alone without an explanation?

One by one cars began to pull into driveways as people returned from work. The sun had sunk beneath the tree line and close to the horizon. The street was darkening. He peeked over the top of the bush and saw two dark figures moving about inside the house. Making sure to stay close to the ground he crept closer until he was pressed up against the house. With trembling legs he stood, trying to make himself as flat as possible against the side of the house. For the first time he thought about calling back up. All sorts of scenarios began to play out in his mind and in each one of them he ended up dead for his own stupidity. He reached for his phone only to find it gone. He cursed under his breath. It was still in the car on the passenger seat where he'd left it. He put a hand on his gun as he crept closer to the window. Light was pouring out of it onto the grass that desperately needed to be mowed. He let a few minutes pass. Nothing disrupted the line of light.

Gathering up the last of his courage, his hand on the gun in the holster on his hip, he peered into the room. It was empty. There wasn't a single soul inside. What he did see though made him smile. Scattered all over the floor were evidence bags. Each bag had been torn open, the red tape meaning nothing. The fake evidence from yesterday lay spread out on a table, the only piece of furniture in the entire room. He couldn't tell if the criminals knew the evidence was fake or not. Each piece seemed to be placed on the table with the utmost care, making sure that none of the objects touched another. He frowned. He noticed a box in the farthest corner and couldn't help but wonder what was inside of it. Possibly more stolen evidence. A flash of red in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He stepped further forward where he would have been easily spotted had someone walked into the room. Now he could see everything. There was a red medic bag on the floor, its contents long since gone.

He heard the rustling of grass and turned his head. The sun had set; the light from the window further obscured his vision. All he saw was a dark figure coming at him. He tried to pull the gun from its holster. But the figure came at him strong and fast. He was thrown to the ground as someone threw their weight into him. The back of his head smacked off the ground. He yelled out, cursing a blue streak as pain shot through his body. His vision blurred. He watched as the fuzzy figure raised an arm and brought it back down in swift motion. He felt the blow as something hard connected with the spot above his right eye. Then everything went black.


	7. Do You?

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Seven: Do You?**

_Meanwhile…_

Horatio watched as Speed took of in the company vehicle. He hated having to send away one of the best investigators he had but rules were rules and he didn't want them broken. Deep down he thought it highly unlikely that the courts would have a problem with Speed processing the scene. He didn't even know the young woman's name. However, there was a chance that this murder was connected to the murder of a more prominent woman. A case that he couldn't take any chances with. Christy Mahoney had been brutally murdered in her own home yesterday and her son taken. The young boy had been found a few blocks away from home covered in blood and crying. Horatio hadn't even been on the case two minutes before the mayor began to put pressure on him to get it solved. Now he waited for the pressure to get worse as word of the newest death reached the mayor's ears. It would only be a matter of time.

With his sunglasses in his hands he turned back to the house. He let his eyes pass over the small two-story white structure. Inside, laying on the dining room floor was the homeowner, Autumn Smith. Someone he had talked to just yesterday. Now she was lying in a pool of her own blood. Yesterday she was a young woman caught up in the wrong place and time. How quickly things changed nowadays. But as he often told the others, murder never took a holiday.

"Hey, H," Delko said as he walked across the front lawn, his evidence kit in his hand. "Is it bad?"

"All murder is bad, Delko," Horatio replied in his usual way. "Alexx is in with the body right now. I want you to treat this like a high profile case. Don't overlook anything, no matter how insignificant it looks to you."

"You think this is connected to yesterday's murder?" Delko asked, his eyes flashing with momentary excitement. Horatio didn't blame him. Rarely did they get the chance to work with serial killers. The adrenaline was something they all relished.

"It very well could be," Horatio answered. His cell phone began to ring. Delko walked toward the open front door. The home was lovely, both inside and out. He found Alexx in the dining room pulling off her latex gloves. The body of Autumn Smith lay on the floor, two bullets holes in her chest. Delko looked about the room noting everything that looked out of place and making a mental checklist of things he wanted to carefully look over. Even the insignificant things. Over the years he had learned that even the unlikeliest thing could hold the answer to a murder.

"Poor girl," Alexx said in a sympathetic voice, breaking the silence that had settled. "Yesterday you had your whole life ahead of you. You're too young to be on my table, sweetheart."

Delko set down his case and was about to make his own remark when they were joined by Horatio. The frown on his boss's face caught him off guard. He could count on one hand how many times he had seen Horatio Caine frown and still have three fingers left. "What's up, H?"

"I just got a call from Frank. He says he was coming out of the lab when Speed approached him about using his car," Horatio explained. Both Alexx and Delko noted the unhappy tone in their boss's voice. "Frank let him have the keys, saying that he looked edgy like a drug addict who needed a fix."

"You saw him a few minutes ago, didn't he seem fine to you?" Delko asked.

Horatio flipped open his cell phone. "He looked distracted. I thought maybe he was trying to place the car in the driveway. Now I'm not so sure." He quickly dialed Speed's cell number and waited in silence for him to pick up. Voicemail picked up, he left a message. He looked at Alexx and Delko who waited for orders. "Alexx, get the body back to the lab. Delko, there are two officers posted outside and Ryan should be here soon. Process this scene."

"H-"

"I'll call you if something comes up." And with that he left.

As he climbed into the H2 he couldn't help feeling as though the whole thing was his fault. He should have noticed that something was wrong with him yesterday. Maybe he didn't want to admit to himself that things seemed off with Speed. Ever since his return to the lab he'd been quiet, distracted, and off in his own little world. Horatio wished that he had pressed the issue when asking about the younger man's health. Frank had to be wrong. Speed wasn't on drugs in any way. He couldn't be, could he? As drove along his thoughts got darker and darker until he realized that it was Speed, not some drug addict who ran around killing people for shits and giggles.

Turning into the crime lab parking lot he parked a spot reserved for him. Frank and Calleigh were waiting outside for him.

"Have you been able to get a hold of him?" Calleigh asked him immediately.

"No," Horatio replied. He quickly dialed Speed's cell number again. There still wasn't an answer. It made him more worried. "He still won't answer. Frank, which car did he take?"

Frank frowned. "He took my personal car, H. If he had taken the unmarked police car it would be easier to find him. That boy of yours isn't dumb. He knows what he's doing, whatever that may be."

"Did you put out an APB on the car, Frank?" Horatio asked as he once again dialed Speed's number, praying all that while that he would pick up.

"Cops are search for it right now. Any of them see it they'll call me personally, not dispatch," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I can't stand around here, H, it'll drive me crazy with worry," Calleigh said, her blond hair blowing in the gentle wind.

"Then we won't just stand around," Horatio said, turning to climb back into the Hummer. Calleigh climbed into the passenger side and Frank sat in the back. They pulled into traffic, going the way Frank said Speed had gone. For hours they drove around the various streets hoping to spot the car. Frank kept his cell phone in his hand waiting for the call they all wanted to come. Horatio took a call from Delko at around five as he and Ryan were returning to the lab. They were both worried and looking for an update. Alexx hadn't said anything to them but they knew she was thinking about wayward Speed and what he was doing. Where had he gone?

The phone call finally came in. The sun had set and Horatio turned on the sirens as he raced toward the residential area. A police cruiser was parked behind Frank's car, which was clearly empty. Horatio inspected the car, peering through the windows. He mumbled something about Speed's cell phone being on the passenger seat.

"What would he be doing in a place like this, H?" Calleigh asked as she looked around at the lovely homes. They were across town from Speed's apartment.

"Excuse me," a shaky voice called to them. They all turned to see an old man standing on the opposite side of the street. "I don't mean to bother you folks, but by any chance are you looking for a dark haired man wearing a light blue T-shirt?"

"Yes, sir, we are," Frank replied, walking across the street with Horatio and Calleigh in tow. "Do you know where he went?"

"He's not a bad or something like that, is he? He looked like such a nice fellow," the old man told them, a frown on his face.

Horatio smiled softly and warmly. "No, he's actually an officer and we're worried about his safety. So any help you can offer us would be greatly appreciated."

The old man looked over his shoulder and stared down at the end of the street which was clouded in darkness. "He was following a sedan. The car pulled into the driveway of that house there," he pointed. "I saw them leaving about twenty minutes ago in a hurry. But I haven't seen the officer again. I sure hope he's okay. If I had known I would have called you guys…"

"It's okay, no harm done," Horatio said as he took off toward the house at a fast pace. Calleigh followed behind him, her hand on the butt of her gun, ready to pull it free of the holster if the need arose. Frank stayed behind with the old man to get as much information as he could out of him regarding the house.

Calleigh tried keeping up with her boss but she quickly lost him to the darkness. The houses were empty and the streetlight had long since gone out. She pulled her gun from the holster, feeling uneasy as she approached the house. It was oddly quiet at this end of the street, making the dead end sign a statement of truth.

"I found him, Calleigh," Horatio yelled. The sudden sound of his voice made her jump. She ran to the side of the house, holstering her gun. Speed lay on the ground on his back, blood seeping from a cut in his forehead. Horatio put a hand on his cheek and called his name repeatedly, trying to bring him out of the darkness. Calleigh got on her phone and called for an ambulance, officer down. The radios across the city echoed with her call for help. Frank heard it and looked toward the end of the street. Back at the lab Ryan, Delko, and Alexx sat in the breakroom, not saying anything as dark thoughts began to settle in.


	8. What We Can't Have

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Eight: What We Can't Have**

They all sat in a bar a few blocks away from the lab. None of them were talking. At the moment they didn't know what to say. All around them the world continued to buzz with life, and like statues, they sat there, drinking their various drinks and not saying a damn word. Calleigh yawned, stretching her arms above her head. The other patrons probably thought they were zombies, or people who didn't know a lick about partying. She looked around the table at the familiar faces. Alexx was staring down at her hands which rested in her lap. Frank was doing something with his cell phone, maybe looking for a specific number. Maybe he wanted to reconnect with his ex wife. Times like these made people do irrational things. Horatio looked tired and rundown, his blue eyes paler than usual, almost as though the fire had died. Hagen had rested his hand on her thigh and she didn't even care. She relished the contact. It reminded her that she was human. Delko sat to her left. He was feeling uptight, his eyes darting around, noticing everyone and everything in the bar. Beside him, next to Horatio, Speed sat staring into his beer. The white bandage above his eye was a stark reminder of things that had happened the night before.

The day had been a horrible one and they all wanted nothing more than to forget. But Calleigh knew that try as they might, the images and the actions of the day would not fade away. Eventually they'd be pushed back into the farthest recesses of their minds but it would always be there. Cooper returned to the table, a new pitcher of beer in one hand. Even he looked defeated.

"Does anyone feel like they've been in a really bad Hollywood film?" he asked, finally voicing a thought out loud.

"More like a nightmare," Speed grumbled. He took a swig of his beer before leaning back in his chair.

"What do we do tomorrow, H?" Delko asked their boss. They always turned to him for guidance when times got dark.

"I'm not sure, Delko. I have to talk with the police chief and the mayor, see what they say," their boss answered. For once he didn't have a clear answer to give them. He had never been in such a situation before. Sure, he'd heard of things like this happening, and he should have thought it a high possibility with all the thefts going around, but it never crossed his mind. Not even once. He had enough to worry about without this.

"I can't believe it, two dead and four injured," Alexx said. She was trying to keep her tears back and failing. "Was there any news on Valera? Is she going to be okay?"

Hagen, his right hand in a brace, shook his head. "The doctor didn't have anything to tell me when I left the hospital. She should be fine, though. I don't think any of her wounds are life threatening. Then again, I'm not a doctor."

"We have to catch them guys, before they do this again," Delko growled. "Before they hurt more people."

"I could have had them yesterday if they hadn't gotten the jump on me," retorted Speed. He had been beating himself up all day. He never should have tried handling things by himself. If Horatio had told him once, he'd told him a million times, back-up was a live saver. He glanced at his boss. There were still hints of blood on his shirt and he noticed that H's hands were shaking slightly. He didn't blame him.

Calleigh and Horatio had spent most of the night at the hospital with him while he got checked out. They stayed well into the morning hours until he was released. They were driving him home when the call came across the wire. A gang had opened fire on the lab. It had been the right time of day; early morning when people were arriving for dayshift. They had killed one officer and one lab work, seriously injuring Valera and three others. Many others had minor cuts and bruises, like Hagen. Calleigh and Horatio made it through unscathed because they were with Speed. They made it to the lab after the gang had run off. Windows had been shattered, sending glass flying into the air. It had cut Delko and Frank. None of them could believe it happened. Such a terrible event. They were lucky to only have two people die. For now. Four lives hung in the balance, regardless of what Hagen said about Valera.

"They won't get away with this," Horatio finally said, his voice steady, the fire back in his eyes. "No one opens fire on my territory and injures people that I care about. It stops here. If I have to work day after day without any sleep I will catch them. Mark my words."

They knew that he was determined enough to do what he said. "You won't be alone in the hunt," Speed assured him, leaning forward, his elbows on the table. Delko and Hagen were quick to agree. Calleigh hesitated a fraction of a second. Alexx and Cooper offered to help in any way they could.

Frank was the last to say anything. "Count me in. I've been getting text messages from a few officers in other counties. Everyone is on high alert, keeping their eyes open."

"Do you think the Feds might step in?" Cooper asked bluntly. "I mean, they could if they wanted to, couldn't they?"

"I've already talked with an agent with the Bureau," admitted Horatio, catching everyone off guard. "The Feds are keeping an eye on things in Florida. The sudden rash of crime against law enforcement has them worried. However, they're not yet ready to step in and take action. We could solve this before they get the chance, and that's the way I'd like to do it. Nothing against them, but this is our territory. This is our home that's been put under fire."

"I wish I had been thinking yesterday," grumbled Speed once again, in anger. "None of this would have happened."

"We all want what we can't have," Delko sighed in response.

"And it's enough to drive us mad," Calleigh added. The others nodded in agreement.


	9. King of Nothing

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Nine: King of Nothing**

Speed stumbled drunkenly out of the bar, tripping over his own feet. Delko grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and his left arm. "Whoa, boy, I think someone had a bit too much to drink tonight."

"Yeah, well, these last few days of been a bitch," replied Speed in a somewhat slurred voice. He rarely if ever got drunk. But lately, things hadn't been that great. All the murders, the news from his doctor, the attack on the lab; he just wanted to drain his sorrows. And now, here was, standing outside a bar being held up by the one person he loved with all his heart. Too bad he didn't have the guts to tell Delko how he felt. The thought crossed his mind that anything he uttered at this precise moment would not be taken seriously. Delko would shrug it off, thinking it was only the alcohol talking. He smiled. "You know, Delko, there's something I want to tell you."

"What's that?" Delko asked as they made their way to Delko's truck. He had only the one drink the whole night. Alexx had taken Calleigh and Horatio home. Frank took Hagen and Cooper. That left him with Speed, who was beyond wasted. He had never seen his friend drink so much. It worried him until he remembered the things that had gone on Speed's life the last few days. Hell, the last few months hadn't been easy on him. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that Speed got wasted. Maybe he really needed it.

"Hold that thought," replied Speed with a grimace. They had made to the truck and now he lurched onto a small section of grass where he fell to his hands and knees. Delko turned away as the alcohol did its work. Speed stumbled back to the truck, leaning back against it.

"That's what you get for drinking so much," Delko pointed out with a smile.

"Now I remember why I don't so much," commented Speed.

Delko opened the car door. "You were going to say something before you…"

"Oh, yeah, I was," he said as he climbed into the truck with the help of Delko. His head was beginning to clear, the affects of the fresh air and the fact that he had just thrown-up most of the alcohol he had consumed. He waited for Delko to climb behind the wheel before he began talking again. "I've been thinking a lot the last few weeks…or months…I'm not sure really. These thoughts, they've been keeping me awake at night sometimes. They interfere with my job in ways that they shouldn't. And I'm not going to tell you but I am going to tell you. Wait…" Speed paused for a moment as Delko started the engine. "That didn't make any sense." Delko chuckled, pulling the truck into traffic. "Anyway. Where was I?"

"You were going to tell me something," Delko reminded him. It was nearly midnight and he was hoping that he didn't have to work too early tomorrow morning. Horatio said he would call them to let them know what was going on the minute he knew himself.

"That's right, I remember now," Speed said, his words slurring less and less. "I was going to tell you that I cared about you."

Delko gave him a quick glance. "Hey man, I care about you too. It's what friends do."

"No," he shook his head, "that's not what I meant. You're not getting it."

Silence settled in the car as Delko thought about what Speed had said and what it could possibly mean that he wasn't getting. He frowned, trying to find the hidden message. And then it dawned on him. "Oh…" was the only thing he could think to say.

Not for a minute did he think it was the alcohol talking. He knew Speed. He could easily tell when his friend was lying or trying to hide something. He wasn't, not now. Delko tried to process all the information as best he could. In one sentence his best friend of the last few years had not only admitted to being gay, or at least bi-sexual, but also to having feelings for him. What was he supposed to say to him? Usually he didn't have any problems coming up with wiseass remarks to the things Speed said. This was different. Wiseass remarks wouldn't work in this situation. He had to find the right words to say and they weren't coming.

"Forget it man," Speed finally said, turning his gaze to the side window.

"I'm sorry, it's just a lot to take in," admitted Delko as he turned into the parking lot of Speed's apartment building. He parked the car and climbed out. Speed sort of fell out the passenger door. He averted his gaze never once looking Delko in the eye. "Come on, let's get you upstairs. We can talk up there."

"There's nothing to talk about."

Delko helped Speed to his apartment, keeping an arm around him at all times to make sure he didn't fall. When they got to the door he had to fish around in Speed's pockets for the house keys. There were in his front right pocket. Sliding the key into the lock they both stumbled into the dark apartment. Delko reached over and flicked on the light. He had been to Speed's place numerous times to hang out and sometimes to relax after work. He was familiar with every object, every book, every speck of dust that was never cleaned up. It took him five minutes to get Speed into his bedroom where he plopped down on the bed like a sack of potatoes.

"You have to undress yourself, dude, that's where my help stops," Delko told him. Speed grumbled something that he didn't quite catch but it still made him feel bad. He looked toward the bedroom door. "Now that I think of it, I'm going to crash on your couch. I don't want to get into an accident because I fell asleep behind the wheel."

Speed gestured with his hand, dismissing Delko. He watched him walk through the door and disappear into the living room. He felt like whacking his head against the wall. He had taken a chance and messed up one of the greatest friendships he had. Now he really wished that he was dead. How was he going to face Delko in the morning? He could always pretend that he didn't remember anything. It might work. It might not. He threw off his shoes and lay on the bed above the blankets. He had really expected Delko to jump and down with the news. But he didn't exactly expect this reaction. As he drifted asleep he didn't notice Delko standing in the doorway.


	10. It Ain't Me

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Ten: It Ain't Me**

He didn't have to worry about what to say to Delko the next morning. By the time he climbed out of bed Delko was gone. He didn't leave a note or anything. Just up and left. Speed felt a stab of pain. It was his fault. The words he said last night had driven away his closest friend. He showered, enjoying the warmth of the water as it washed over him. There weren't any messages on his cell phone from Horatio but he didn't care, he was going to the lab anyway. Popping an aspirin in hopes that it would help with his slight hang-over he grabbed his sunglasses and was out the door before an hour had passed. The sun shone brightly in the blue sky. Dark clouds hovered near the horizon creeping ever closer and threatening rain. He pulled on his helmet, hopped and on his motorcycle and headed for the lab.

When he got there he found that he wasn't the only one. Calleigh and Alexx were helping cleaning crews sweep up the glass. Cooper retrieving pieces of this and that from the grass in front of the lab. Delko was also there, photographing everything before the cleaning crews got to it. Speed frowned. He didn't see their boss. There was no flash of red hair in the bright sun. No familiar dark suited figure with sunglasses. Where was Horatio? He hung his helmet off his bike and made haste for the lab. He smiled and waved to the girls and said 'hi' to Cooper as he passed by. Delko didn't even acknowledge him. Once again he felt that sharp stab of pain. It should have known better than anyone how saying what was on his mind could change everything. Words changed lives. He saw it every day in his line of duty. Someone killed a person for calling them a bad word; lovers were killed for admitting they cheated.

The dark halls of the lab were somewhat scarce. Most of the employees of the dayshift that had not been injured opted to stay home. Probably a good idea. He walked passed Hagen who was gathering tapes from the security cameras that covered nearly every square inch of the lab. Frank appeared to be helping him. They were going to have a lot of tapes to watch. He hurried to Horatio's office, knocking softly on the door when he got there. He didn't receive an answer so he pushed the door open.

"H, you in here?" The room was empty.

"Something you need help with, Speed?" Horatio asked from behind him.

Speed spun around to face his boss. His boss was beginning to get dark circles under his eyes from a lack of sleep; something that seemed to be going around like the plague. "I didn't see you outside with the others; I just wanted to know…" He trailed off.

Horatio smiled. "Don't worry; I wasn't out chasing bad guys down without you. I wanted to make sure we had officers watching family and friends of both Autumn Smith and Christie Mahoney. If they're brave enough to strike us on our own turf nothing will stop them from killing more innocent people."

"Any clues yet?" Speed asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Not yet, but I'm about to join Hagen and Frank in the video room. Three sets of eyes are better than one," he replied. "Why don't you see how our evidence faired? We can't let this stop us from working our cases."

"I'll get right on it, H," assured Speed with a smile of his own.

They parted company. Speed went in the direction of the Trace lab. As he walked the desolate hallways he thought about the lab. The outside looked like a war zone. Everything inside seemed to be intact though. The building with its winding corridors and glass walls had become like a second home to him. He couldn't imagine living without it. In fact, he spent more time at the lab than he did his own apartment. Stepping into the Trace lab he was happy to see all the equipment safely sitting where it had been the day before. Of course, none of it was easy to pick up and walk off with. Opening one of the cabinet doors he found the safe that they used to keep evidence in when they didn't have time to get it to the vault. The safe remained untouched. He smiled. Working the combination he opened the door and removed various brown envelopes still sealed with red evidence tape. He'd make himself useful by working the case of Autumn and Christie. Maybe he'd get lucky and find a trace of their murderers.

He settled down to work after putting on his lab coat and stuffing his sunglasses in the pocket. The aspirin had worked for the time being and his head no longer hurt. Next time he would find a different way to drain in his sorrows. Without the alcohol. Running test after test the day began to drift by without him noticing. He was in his element. He sat down on the stool after another test frowning at the negative results he had gotten. The door to the room opened and he jumped.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Delko said as he walked into the room, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He looked somewhat sheepish. "Find anything good yet?" He nodded in the direction of the evidence spread across the table.

"A few dog hairs," he remarked, placing the sheet of paper on the table with the others.

It was Delko's turn to frown. "Neither victim owned a dog."

"I know that," Speed said. "I read the reports."

"Oh," Delko answered lamely. He stood there, not saying anything for a few minutes as Speed started his next test.

Speed found it irritating that Delko was hovering. He hated when people did things like that. "If you have something to say I'd really like you to say it. otherwise you should just leave."

"You seem like you're in your own world today," Delko told him, shrugging his shoulders.

Speed glared at him. "I'm not the one being distant, you are. I'm well aware of what I said yesterday and I meant every damn word. I don't expect….actually; I don't know what I expect anymore. But it sure wasn't the cold shoulder." He massaged his temples as a headache began to settle in. He hoped it would just be a run of the mill headache. Luck was not on his side. The pain began to intensify.

"Speed-"

"Just leave me the hell alone, Delko. Until you figure out how to handle things," Speed snapped at him. The pain blurred his vision so he closed his eyes.

"Timmy-" There was a ring of concern in Delko's voice. "Speed?"

Speed fell to his knees. It felt like a herd of elephants was stampeding through his head. His ears began to ring. He felt someone shaking him. He thought he heard Delko yelling for help but the ringing in his ears was deafening. He felt the pain travel down the back of his neck like a million little needles piercing his skin all at once. He knew he was sweating and he didn't care.

* * *

Calleigh had stepped out of the gun vault and immediate ran into Hagen and Horatio. They were exchanging information when they heard Delko yelling for help from the Trace lab. His voice sounded frantic. None of them wasted any time in responding to the call. Horatio was through the door first, Calleigh right on his heels, and Hagen bringing up the rear.

"What happened?" Horatio asked as he knelt on the other side of Speed. Calleigh looked at her friend. he was kneeling on the floor with his eyes closed and his hands pressed against his ears. A thin layer of sweat covered his body. Even with his eyes closed his face was a mask of pain.

"I'm not really sure," Delko said. "We were talking and all of sudden he looked like he was pain, then he fell to his knees."

"Hagen, get your car started and meet us at the front of the lab. We need to get him to the hospital," ordered Horatio. Hagen was out the door and gone from sight before another word could be said. "Come on, let's get him to his feet." Horatio took Speed's right arm and threw it over his shoulders. Delko mimicked his movements on the left side of Speed's body. With their strength they were able to get Speed to his feet.

They began to lead him out of the room when Calleigh saw something on the floor. She picked up the object and ran after them. "His sunglasses. We should put on his sunglasses incase he opens his eyes while he's outside. The bright light might cause more pain."

"Good thinking, Cal," Delko said to her as she put the glasses over Speed's still closed eyes. she would have thought he had blacked out except for the fact that he was doing his best to walk with Delko and Horatio. They stepped outside where Hagen had his car waiting. He was standing by one of the back doors, holding it open. Suddenly the small group was the center of attention as they hustled Speed toward the car. Delko was ordered to stay behind. Horatio climbed in back with Speed and Hagen was behind the wheel in the blink of an eye. Everyone stood in silence as the car tore off into traffic, siren blaring.


	11. That's the Beat of a Heart

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Eleven: That's the Beat of a Heart**

The apartment was dark like the night sky outside. He liked it that way. The dark didn't hurt his head as much as the bright lights did. Even without the lights he could make out the bottle of pills sitting on his coffee table. It helped that there was a streetlight outside casting the softest glow into his apartment. The bottle of pills just confirmed what he already knew. What he didn't want to acknowledge. He still couldn't believe that he'd been rushed to the hospital by Horatio and Hagen. He tried to convince them that it was only a tension headache, a migraine, nothing more. No surprise that they didn't believe him.

His doctor hadn't been surprised to see him in the least. In fact, to Speed it look almost as though the man had been waiting for his return. He received a thorough check-out and was sent home with a bottle of pain medication. The doctor made him an appointment, expecting to see him in the next few days. He didn't want to go. He was going to dread the visit up until it happened. After being discharged he had to confront his boss and Hagen. The somewhat pushy detective pressed the issue, not believing Speed when he said that he was fine. Horatio finally got him to let up. Speed saw in his eyes the knowledge that he knew he was lying. He didn't care. He just wanted to go home. And that was where they took him. He'd been sitting on the couch staring at that little orange plastic bottle of pills ever since. Proof of what was to come. The doctor said within three or four days the pills wouldn't work anymore and he'd be in a constant state of unbearable pain. Something that he wasn't looking forward to.

There was a knock at the door. He turned his head to look in the direction of the sound. He could barely make it out. The glow from the streetlight didn't reach that far. When he remained quiet for a few seconds there was another knock, a little louder this time.

"Go away," he grumbled. His voice was scratchy and thick. Instead of complying with his request the person outside opened the door and stepped inside. He caught a whiff of familiar cologne. His heart began to beat faster as his body went numb with a whole different kind of pain. "Why are you here?"

'I wanted to check on you, make sure that you were okay," Delko said in reply.

"I'm fine." He listened as the other man walked further into the apartment. He reached for one of the lamps intending to turn it on. "Please don't turn that on."

Delko's hand fell back to his side. After a moments silence he settled for a seat on the arm of the couch. "That's a damned lie and you know it. I'm not an idiot, Tim. Light sensitivity, severe headaches; there symptoms of a lot of serious things. What is going on with you?"

"Nothing is going on," he mumbled under his breath.

"When are you going to stop lying to me?"

"Did you ever think that maybe I don't want to talk about it?" he snapped, putting more anger into his voice than he wanted. He sighed. "I'm sorry. My head is still kind of sore."

Delko reached out to the table and plucked the orange bottle from its spot. "Painkillers, have you taken one?" He read the label. "Damn, these are some pretty powerful drugs, Speed."

"No, I haven't taken one," he replied, completely ignoring the second half. "I should but I really don't feel like getting off the couch."

Delko disappeared into the dark. He flipped on the small light over the sink and Speed heard him rooting around in the fridge. He sat, unsure of what to do. The idea that Delko cared enough about him to visit had to mean something, didn't it? And yet, since he'd set foot in the apartment he'd kept his distance. He was just a friend checking up on someone he cared about. Delko returned, handing Speed a cup of cold water. He took Speed's free hand and dropped two pills into it before plopping down on the couch beside him.

"Bottoms up," he said when Speed hesitated.

Speed swallowed the two pills and finished off the glass of water. "There, you've done your job. Your good deed is done for the day. Feel better?"

"I didn't come here to make you take your pills," Delko replied, a touch of anger in his voice. "I came here because you're important to me, Speed. I wanted to make sure you were okay and we need to talk."

"Oh, now you feel like talking? Tired of giving me the cold shoulder? Are you taking sympathy on me because I'm crippled-boy or something along those lines? 'Cause if you are, you can just leave now, save yourself the trouble," Speed said to him, resting his head back against the couch. A sharp pain traveled down the back of his neck and he hissed in pain.

"I'm not here on sympathy," remarked Delko with frustration. "I wanted to apologize for last night. What you said caught me off guard and I didn't know what to say. Would you have wanted me to return the sentiment just to make you feel good, even if I didn't feel the same way?"

"I made an ass of myself, just let it go. Please don't make things worse," Speed pleaded. He didn't want to hear what Delko had to say.

Delko ignored him, continuing on. "I wanted a chance to think about what you had said. It needed to sink in and be processed. I apologize if I hurt your feelings, Speed, but I had some serious thinking to do. I stayed up all night thinking about it, too. And I came to a simple conclusion."

"What's that?"

"That I still have no clue what to say to you," he replied with completely honesty. "I haven't been able to sort out all my feelings. I'm sorry, Timmy."

Speed closed his eyes, the medicine finally taking effect. The pain in his neck faded, the pain in his head completely vanished. And yet, the pain in his heart grew. Everything was falling apart all at once. Couldn't just one thing go his way? He didn't even fight the tears as they rushed from his eyes. He didn't care that Delko was only inches away. He cried, his body shaking. Delko, taken by surprise, reacted purely on impulse. He reached out, pushing an arm between Speed and the couch. He pulled him close, holding him tight. Speed lay his head on Delko's shoulder and let it all out.

"It'll be okay," Delko said in a whisper. "Everything will be okay. I promise."


	12. Comeback

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Twelve: Comeback**

Calleigh looked over the mass of bullets on the table before her. She still couldn't believe that a gang had shot up the lab just two days ago. And they weren't any closer to finding them. She placed her palms on the table and leaned forward, closing her eyes. She had to relax. Being tense and angered wouldn't help matters any. Her concentration was important at this point in time. But who could concentrate when everything was going to hell at such a fast pace? Even her usual cheerfulness was gone. Someone slipped their hands around her waist, embracing her from behind.

"You need to relax," Hagen said to her.

"I can't," she told him, turning in his embrace to face him. "How can you possibly think about relaxing at a time like this? Every officer in Miami, hell, in Florida, is under fire from these people and we don't even know what they're after. And have you noticed lately that Horatio seems tired, almost rundown? Don't even get me started on how worried I am about Speed and what's going on with him."

"Hey, hey, slow down. This is one of those bumps in the road that we all wish we could avoid. Things will eventually get better, don't they always?" he asked.

She rested her forehead against his chest. "I just don't know anymore, John. I don't know if I can keep doing this. I mean, it's one thing to deal with victims that you don't know. These are my friends. These people have become a family to me. I hate seeing them suffer, knowing that there's nothing I can do."

"Let me tell you something, you know as well as I do that Horatio can take care of himself," Hagen began. "He wants to solve this as bad as you do and it's keeping him up at night. Once this is over and done with the old Horatio will be back in full swing chewing my ass out." That got a giggle from Calleigh. "And I'm sure that Delko is pumping Speed for any and all information. Those two are joined at the hip. Delko will find out what's wrong with Speed and he'll come to tell you that you're worrying yourself sick over nothing."

"No I won't." The sound of Delko's voice made both of them jump. Hagen quickly let go of Calleigh and she looked at Delko, wiping away the few tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice somewhat shaky.

He had his arms crossed over his chest and a look of determination on his face. "I won't lie and tell you not to worry. I have no idea what's going on with Tim; he doesn't want to talk about it. But the doctor has him on some seriously strong painkillers. I went by to see him last night and ended up holding him while he cried. Have you ever known him to cry?"

Calleigh shook her head. She felt the familiar sting of tears. "Why doesn't he want to talk about it? He's never been like this, at least not with you. You two tell each other everything."

"I know," Delko sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I guess we'll have to wait for him to come to us this time."

At that moment an alarm sounded shrilly in the lab. Hagen covered his ears as the sound pierced the air. Even Delko and Calleigh winced with pain. Delko motioned to the door. Hagen grabbed Calleigh by the wrist and pulled her along. When he was within hearing range of Delko he yelled, "What the hell is that? A fire alarm?"

Delko shook his head. "No, that's the alarm they sound when a dangerous amount of hazardous chemicals has been spilled or released into the air. We need to get the hell out of the lab."

The three of them took off out of the glass-enclosed room. The few people in the lab were already making their way toward the entrance of the building. Delko stopped at every room to make sure that everyone was getting out safe. As they slid into the reception area they collided with a crowd of white-coated bodies. Outside the sound of a gun battle raged on, louder than the alarm inside. Delko looked around frantically. There was a back way out that only employees knew about. Why wasn't anyone taking it? Alexx appeared beside him, fear in her eyes, and anger in her frown.

"Out the emergency exit," Delko yelled as loud as he could to be heard over the cacophony of sound. The others looked at him before his words finally registered. Like a flock of sheep being herded by a dog they ran for the door. Two by two out the door they went. They all ran away from the sound of the gunfire. Delko grabbed his gun and headed toward it, Hagen following after him. Even Calleigh had pulled her service weapon out. At the corner of the building Delko peeked around the corner. His heart nearly stopped. All firing had ceased. Standing in the middle of the parking lot was Speed. Two feet away from him was a masked man point a gun at him. Speed didn't have a weapon in his hands.

Speed stood his ground as the masked men took a step toward him. Out from behind a car stepped Horatio. On measured steps, his gun trained on the masked man, he walked toward them. "Put the gun down. This isn't a mistake you want to make."

Delko took this opportunity to step out of safety and into the realm of danger. He moved like Horatio. Hagen followed him a few minutes later. The gunman closed the distance between him and Speed, pressing the barrel of his gun against Speed's chest.

"Shoot me and I'll take him out with me," the man barked.

Horatio put his hands up. "No one needs to die. Let him go and we can talk."

"I'm not here to talk," snapped the masked man. He shoved the gun's barrel forcefully into Speed's chest, making him step back to keep his balance. "And I ain't letting this one go, he's my collateral."

"Let him go," Horatio ordered.

"You know what, just fucking shoot me," Speed yelled at the gunman. "I am so tired of having guns pointed at me. All you guys ever do is threaten someone with death but none of you have the balls to actually kill someone. Go ahead, you want to shoot me, than do it." He spread his arms out.

Distracted by Horatio and Speed's sudden outburst the masked man never noticed Delko until it was too late. Delko pressed his gun against the man's head. "I have the balls it takes to pull this trigger and end your life right now. And I won't even bat an eyelash. No one holds a gun to my friend's chest. Put it down or I'll splatter this parking lot with what little brain you have."

Horatio had stepped closer and now Hagen was viewable. The man dropped his gun, defeated. Calleigh came around the corner of the building, her gun holstered and an angry frown on her face. Hagen holstered his gun and retrieved his handcuffs, handing them to Delko who with the help of Horatio was reading the gunman his rights. Calleigh walked up to Speed and slapped him.

"I don't care what's going on in your life," she yelled at him, her voice shaking. "I never want to hear you say anything like that again."


	13. Between the River and Me

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Thirteen: Between the River and Me**

The masked man, now free of the black mask, sat handcuffed in a chair in one of the few interrogation rooms in the lab. He was alone; his feet shackled together making it nearly impossible to walk. Outside of the room Hagen stood beside Frank while they waited for Horatio to return. Neither detective knew where he was and neither one had the balls to walk into the room without him. He may have been the head of the crime lab to most people but he was also a lieutenant. Any orders he dished out to the detectives were to be followed. Neither one was in the mood for getting their ass chewed out. Especially since the stakes were high.

After the shootout in the parking lot things were getting back on track. Most of the employees that had showed up for the day had now left. Hagen would have rather been dealing with Calleigh than waiting to accompany Horatio into the interrogation room. He knew that Delko didn't have any romantic feelings for her, and vice versa, but he felt as though he should be there for her. The words that Speed spoke earlier had rattled her nerves, and anyone who knew Calleigh knew that it took a lot to do that. He frowned. A lot of the stress Calleigh was dealing with was generated from the problems Speed was having. If Delko couldn't get anything of Speed maybe he'd try himself. He hated seeing Calleigh this way.

Frank was thinking about the work before him. Sitting in the room trying to look innocent was a man that might just be responsible for holding up officers and killing others that had worked at this very building. Cop killers pissed him off. Unlike Hagen he was looking forward to going into the room and grilling the bastard. He wanted answers to all the thefts, for all the deaths. Unfortunately, many rookies had quit after being held-up by the thieves. It angered him to see so many cops leaving their jobs because of jackasses like the one they now had. Frank hoped the man sitting in that chair was counting his blessing. Had he actually pulled the trigger on Speed…

He looked over his shoulder to see if he could spot Horatio coming toward them. Where had the crime lab leader gotten to? After transporting the prisoner to the room he mumbled something about his office and took off, leaving strict instructions that no one was to enter the room without him. Frank looked at Hagen. He rarely worked with the other detective but even he could tell that something was bothering the younger man. 'Something' most likely being Calleigh. He never thought the two of them would last. Than again, he didn't really know anything about Hagen.

"This is ridiculous," remarked Hagen with a shake of his head. "This guy could have friends planning something big and here we are wasting valuable time."

"Take a chill pill," Frank told him. "Horatio wouldn't leave without good reason. Maybe something about this guy triggered a memory or something."

"Hey, have you guys seen Ryan? He hasn't been into work the last few days," Delko asked as he walked over to them.

"How's Calleigh?" were the only words that Hagen had to say.

Frank threw the other man an annoyed look that went ignored. He turned to Delko. "Haven't seen or heard from him. Why? You think he's in trouble or something?"

"I'm not sure what to think," confessed Delko as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I haven't seen him since Speed got held up. He hasn't been to the lab that I've been able to gather. I may have to run by his house and check on him." As an afterthought he added, "Calleigh is doing fine. She took off with Speed a few minutes ago. The two of them haven't really spent any time together since he got shot a few months ago. Maybe catching-up will do them some good."

Horatio finally returned, looking somewhat frazzled. But the fire still burned in his eyes as he spied the man they were all so eager to talk to. "Delko, I have a task for you. I'd like you to take Alexx home and pick-up Ryan for me."

"So Wolfe is at home," Delko said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Figures. The lab falls apart and he's at home watching daytime TV and eating bon-bons."

"Actually, I sent him home the other day when it was clear that he was having problems with his eye," Horatio explained. "There's no guarantee that he can see clearly but I need all hands on deck. Once word gets back to the head of the lab I may have to send Speed on paid leave. There aren't going to be happy to hear how things went down today."

"But you got the guy," Delko nodded toward the room where the prisoner was getting restless. "Speed's just having some bad days. Sending him on paid leave won't help any."

"I'm doing the best I can, Eric," Horatio assured him. "Just please do this one favor for me. I'll have a talk with Speed as soon as I get a chance. Right now I have an interview to conduct."

Getting the message that he had been dismissed Delko left to find Alexx and drive her home. Horatio looked at the detectives. Without a word he went to the door and walked into the room. Both detectives followed him. Usually only one detective accompanied him but he wanted the extra back-up just incase he felt himself losing control. It wouldn't do anyone of them any good for him to throttle the prisoner, even if he did get some satisfaction out of it.

"I hope you didn't have any plans for the next couple of years," Horatio said as he sat in a chair across from the now somewhat jumpy man.

"You can't hold me here. I have rights. You have to let me go," he said in reply.

Horatio smiled. "You killed some of my officers, injured my lab technician, and today you threatened the life of one of my best friends. I have enough to put you behind bars for the rest of your life and then some. You'd better start talking. The sooner we get this done with the better. For you at least."

* * *

Alexx met Delko with a smile. "I just got a call from the hospital. They'll be releasing Velra in a few days. Looks like she'll be okay."

"That's great news," he said with a smile of his own. At least something was going right for one of them.

"If only it was Timmy," she voiced the thought they both were thinking. "I don't know what's wrong with that boy but if he doesn't come around soon he's going to get himself killed."

"Please don't say that, Alexx."

She placed a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, sugar. I know how much you care about him. The two of you are like the proverbial ships that passed in the sea, only instead of passing completely you hung onto each other, floating there in the sea, side by side."

Delko looked at her, an idea having popped into his head. "You know, I think it's a good thing I'm driving you home, there's something I want to talk to you about."


	14. Change

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Fourteen: Change**

The numbers on the clocked changed to mark the top of the hour. Six-o-clock and he was sitting outside in his car trying to get up the nerve to go inside. When he'd left the lab Hagen and Frank and Horatio were beginning their interrogation of the prisoner. During the drive to Alexx's house the two of them had a lovely, serious, deep talk about something that had been on his mind the last few days. Turned out that she made some good points. He thanked her, kissing her on the cheek before leaving to pick up Ryan. Wolfe was pacing in his driveway when Delko drove up. The attack on the lab had been all over the news and he wanted nothing more than to be out work. The call from Horatio had been like a godsend to him. They made idle chitchat on the way to the lab. Then proceeded to spend the rest of the day working on DNA, trace, and fingerprints. When Delko left the interrogation was still going strong.

Now he sat outside the ever familiar apartment trying to convince himself that he needed to get out of the car and go upstairs instead of going home. An old lady walked by for the third time, giving him a look that said she didn't trust him. He must have looked suspicious just sitting in his car. Pocketing his car keys he climbed out of the truck and headed for the entrance of the apartment building. Thunder rumbled on the horizon as another thunderstorm prepared to roll through. He hated the pop-up thunderstorms that so frequently hit the state. The elevator moved too fast for his liking. He still wasn't entirely sure that he had the guts to do this. What if he wasn't welcome anymore?

Walking down the hallway with his head hanging down he tried to think of the best way to phrase what he wanted to say. Should he start off the conversation by making small talk or would it be better to blurt out the reason he was there? He reached out to knock on the panel of wood when the door opened. Speed jumped in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Delko tried to find the slightest sign of revulsion or anger in his voice but failed to find either. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Unless of course you're on your way out.."

"I was just going to grab something to eat. We can order in though, makes no difference to me," Speed said, stepping aside to let Delko into the apartment. "However, if you're here to talk about this afternoon don't waste your time. I received quite an earful from Calleigh."

"No, I'm not here to yell at you for that, though it may come up once or twice," admitted Delko as he sat on the couch.

Speed grabbed the phone book. "Pizza or Chinese?"

"What were you going to have?" asked Delko.

"I was going to drive by and see which one smelled better," smiled Speed, reaching for the phone. He glanced at Delko. "Pizza it is than." Delko sat quietly while Speed placed the order. When he hung up the phone he murmured something about it arriving in about an hour. "Now what is it that you want to talk about?"

"Us," replied Delko shortly.

"What about us?" Speed's brow furrowed. His eyes darkened.

"Well, you can't deny the fact that things have changed between us since that night," Delko started off, not strong enough to look Speed in the eye. "And I know that I've been distant since you admitted your feelings and I am aware that that made you feel bad. I apologize for my behavior but I didn't know how to handle the whole thing. Until I drove Alexx home this afternoon."

Speed cocked an eyebrow. He kept his distance, remaining on the arm of an armchair instead of moving to the couch. "What does Alexx have to do with any of this?"

"Horatio had me drive her home this afternoon, for safety reasons I assume. When I went to get her from the morgue we got to talking about you and she mentioned how much I cared about you. She talked about how we're practically glued to each other and that we'd be lost without one another," he said while watching Speed's face for any sort of reaction. "It got me thinking so I told her what you said to me and we talked while driving to her house."

A scowled spread across Speed's face. "So you pretty much ousted me to Alexx without my permission? That's real nice of you, Delko. Thank you."

"You're not listening to me, Timmy." He got up and walked over to him, placing a hand under his chin and tilting his head up until their eyes met. "She made me realize the truth. She's always right and I would be completely lost without you. So many things ran through my mind today when I saw that man holding a gun to your chest. I relived the day you got shot in the jewelry store. I remember every emotion that ran through my body that day. The numb feeling of pain and loss. I remember how my heart stopped when I heard you were being rushed to the hospital. And don't even get me started on the hopelessness that overtook me when I heard that you might not live."

"Delko-"

"When I look back over the last few months, years even, I realized that every relationship I ever had failed because it wasn't right. I was running from the truth out of fear of the unknown. But I'm not going to run anymore. My place is here with you," Delko said, his voice lowering into a whisper. "I love you, Timothy."

Speed stood, brushing Delko's hand from his face. "And you needed someone else to help you see that? You couldn't figure it out for yourself? I've known about these feelings far longer than I care to admit and I never once questioned it. I waited for you to figure out how you felt. Do you have any idea how hard it was to sit by and watch you chase skirts? For so long I wanted you to look at me as more than a friend. And now you are but only because Alexx pointed out how you felt."

Delko didn't say anything in reply. He just gathered Speed in his embrace, pulling him close. He loved how right it felt to be holding Speed close, to have their body's pressed together. He could feel the heat rolling off of Speed, could smell the shampoo in his hair, the soap on his skin. He wanted to kiss him, to leave a mark on him to let the world know he was taken but he was afraid it would be too much too soon. Speed finally wrapped his arms around Delko, resting his head against Delko's shoulder.


	15. Goodbye to Neverland

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter Fifteen: Goodbye to Neverland**

"Is H in yet?" Speed asked Frank as he caught the detective in the hall.

"Last I saw him he was sleeping in his office," answered Frank. "We've been here all night grilling that guy and getting nowhere. Finally gave up. He's on his way to lockdown. Hagen and I are on our way to our respective homes. Maybe you should get Horatio home. He shouldn't be sleeping in his office. He's looking tired."

"Glad to know I'm not the only one noticing it now," Speed said, giving Frank a passing pat on the shoulder as he headed in the direction of his boss's office. The door was closed when he got there and he hated the idea of waking H, who hadn't been sleeping well. Frank was right, sleeping in an office wasn't going to do him any good. It wouldn't do any of them any good. He knocked. When he didn't get an answer he opened the door and stepped inside. Horatio was sleeping on the sofa in his office. Speed chewed on his bottom lip trying to decide what to do when Horatio rolled over and looked at him. He gave his boss a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, H, I didn't mean to wake you," he apologized.

Horatio swung his legs over the side of the couch, sitting up. "It's alright, Speed. I wasn't sleeping much anyway. This case is really getting to me. And the pressure from the bigwigs isn't helping matters any. I got a call early this morning from the governor this morning. He just had to tell me how the tourist numbers have dropped. People don't want to vacation in a state where the cops can't protect themselves."

The blue of H's eyes was dull, his hair tussled. He looked paler than usual to Speed and the circles under his eyes had gotten darker. The suit he wore was rumpled and wrinkled. Speed decided that now was the time to take a stand. Before things got worse. "You're going home and I'm driving you," he stated.

"That's mighty nice of you offer, Speed," Horatio began as he climbed off the couch. "But there's too much work to be done. There are tests to be run, prisoners to grill. I have too many people breathing down the back of my neck."

"I can run tests, so can Calleigh and Ryan," Speed told him. He had made up his mind and there was no way he was backing down now. "After the prisoner has rested send Delko in with Yelina. And if either Frank or Hagen has returned by then, they can accompany her. You aren't going to be helping anyone by running yourself down, H. You look like hell. Before long you'll be making mistakes and you always tell us that we can't afford to make mistakes."

Horatio flashed him a warm smile. "Point well made, Tim. I knew there was a reason I hired you. You're good at your job and I think you may be the only one in this lab with the guts to stand up to me. Alright, I'll go home."

"No," Speed shook his head, the anger in his body dissipating. "I'm driving you home. I wouldn't want you to fall asleep at the wheel. When you get there promise me that you'll sleep. If it helps, take a hot shower before hand. I know that it'll do us all good to know that you're taking care of yourself. That'll be a little less stress on our shoulders."

"I'm appointing you in charge while I'm gone. I know I can count on you to run a tight ship and make sure that things get done. The sooner this is resolved the better," Horatio told him.

"I know what you mean."

Together they walked toward the entrance. He was happy to note that Calleigh was already working on Trace with Ryan. Delko wasn't anywhere in sight but he never gave it a second thought. The pain was coming back. It had been at a low, tolerable throb since he climbed out of bed this morning. He'd taken his dose of medication in hopes that it would drive away the pain like it had the last few days. But no, all the medication did was turn the pain down low like a remote turning the volume down on a TV. The sensation of needles being driven into the skin along his neck made him bite his lip. He hoped he would be able to drive Horatio home without incident.

They climbed into the car. Horatio was moving like a tired old man without much strength; which only further worried Speed. As he climbed behind the wheel of Horatio's car he felt a shooting jolt of pain travel along his spine. He counted his lucky stars that he was sitting for the pain would have easily brought him to his knees. Every nerve along his back felt like it was in a vice-grip. The doctor warned him about this happening. He had said it was inevitable. Horatio offered him the keys and he took them. The movement momentarily intensified the pain. He hissed with the nearly unbearable pain.

"Perhaps I'm not the only one who needs to take a step back and take care of himself," Horatio observed, concern filling his voice. "Are you okay?"

"Just fine," he lied through clenched teeth. Luck was once again on his side; Horatio had backed into his spot instead of pulling in. Speed wasn't sure he could look over his shoulder if he had to. Pulling out of the parking space he was soon pulling into traffic and heading toward his boss's house.

"Timothy, I wish you didn't feel the need to lie to me," Horatio said to him. "We've worked side by side for years. We're family. Why can't you tell me what's going on?"

"There's nothing to tell you," he lied again. He made sure to check and double check his mirrors before changing lanes. The pain had traveled, leaving his back and forming a rock in his head. With every second that crept by the headache grew worse.

"There's no reason to the headaches you've been having lately?" Horatio asked him in a voice that pretty much said he wasn't going to let up this time. He wanted answers. "You are in pain, Tim, I can see it in your eyes. I need to know what's wrong with you."

"There's nothing wrong with me," he snapped in reply. He hadn't meant to let his anger show but the pain was forcing it out. "I'm just trying to deal with a lot of shit in my life right now. I'll be back to the old Speed before you know it. Don't worry."

All of a sudden the pain hit him with the force of a sumo wrestler. The ringing in his ears shut out all the sounds around him. His vision blurred. His hands began to shake. He didn't hear Horatio, who was wide awake now, shouting his name. He didn't feel the jerk of the steering wheel. For a second his vision cleared allowing him to see something white and massive looming ahead of them. Then all went black.


	16. Trouble Is

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Sixteen: Trouble Is**

When he next awoke he was lying in a hospital bed, a bunch of wires attached to him, machines beeping around him. He rolled his eyes in disgust. This was not where he wanted to be. His stay in the hospital would happen soon enough. He turned his head to the right to see Horatio sleeping in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs. There was a fresh cut along his boss's cheek and he wondered where it had come from. Then he remembered that he'd been driving Horatio home when the pain had gotten too intense. Had they been in an accident? He hoped no one had died because of his stubbornness.

"I'm happy to see you with your eyes opened," a doctor whispered as he stepped into the room. Even though he had been quiet Horatio was awakened. It seemed that every time he fell asleep he never slept deep enough. "You had me worried there for a bit, Tim." The doctor flashed a light in his eyes. The sudden brightness sent a familiar wave of pain through his head. He turned his head away. The doctor frowned. "Does the light hurt your eyes?"

Speed didn't say anything.

"What's wrong with him?" Horatio took the opportunity to ask.

"I'm afraid that I can't tell you," the doctor replied. "And yes, I know who you are. I'm well aware that you could get a court order. However, Mr. Speedle has wished that everything be kept between the two of us until all is said and done. If you want to know the details you'll have to get them out of him."

"Your patient is a stubborn one, doctor," Horatio said with the slightest hint of a smile. Speed noticed that when he smiled the sparkle wasn't in his eyes anymore. He felt guilty. Like he was adding to Horatio's problems, and truth be told, he was.

"Yes, but that is a good thing," the doctor replied. He flipped through a few pages of paper that he had on a clipboard. "With the latest developments I'm going to ask that you no longer go to work."

Speed furrowed his brow. "Are you kidding me? I can't stay home. There's too much work to be done. And I need the money to pay my bills. No, I am going to work."

"I'm sorry. But I can't allow for that, Tim," the doctor objected. "Things are getting worse faster than I expected. For that reason I'm going to move up your next appointment. Until then I don't want you driving or working. Not only are you suffering a sensitivity to light but you seem to be having frequent migraines that lead to you blacking out." The doctor gestured toward Horatio. "I'm sure your boss would rather you stay home where you'll be safe instead of having you blackout on the job. Am I right lieutenant?"

Horatio, his hands nervously playing with his sunglasses, looked from the doctor to Speed. "He's right. I can't have you working. The risks are too high." He raised a hand to cut-off the protest Speed was about to make. "Your job is already on the line, Speed. The men in charge aren't happy with how things have been going regarding you. Especially since word got back to them of what you did yesterday. You'll go on paid leave until whatever is wrong is over. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Speed reluctantly gave in.

"That's good to hear," the doctor said with a smile. "I'll leave you two alone for now but he should get some rest. I want to run a few more tests before I let him go home."

The doctor left with a promise to be back. Horatio, who was standing by now, walked to the end of the bed and leaned on the footboard. "I wish I knew what was going on here, Speed. I can understand your desire to keep things to yourself but you can't keep this up. Calleigh is worried sick about you. So are Alexx and Delko. Ryan hasn't been around the lab much lately and he's already worried about you."

"I don't know why everyone is worried." Speed talked while he tried to sit up and fix his pillows. He was tired of lying on his back. Horatio came around to help him. "It's not that bad."

Horatio looked at him, his eyes clouding over. "Not that bad? Tim, on the way to driving me home you blacked out while behind the wheel. We got pretty lucky that the driver of that semi was paying attention. He swerved at the same time I did. I think we managed to cause a minor fender-bender. It could have been much worse."

"Is that how you got that cut?" Speed asked him quietly.

"Broken passenger window. Look," Horatio said, "I'm going to call Delko and have him drop me off at home. I'll take a shower and sleep, like I promised you. But then I'm right back in that lab. Now that I'm one hand short. You get better. I need you back at the lab, Speed. You're the best investigator I have. Together we've covered a lot of miles."

"H, I'm sorry," was all that he could think to say in reply.

Horatio stopped at the door. "It's alright, Tim. Just work on getting better. And if you need anything, please, don't hesitate to call any of us. That's what friends are for. We care about you, Speed. We want to see you better."


	17. Quarter to Three

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Seventeen: Quarter to Three**

There was a knock at the door. Only in the deafening silence it sounded more like someone beating on the wood with a battering ram. He rolled over in bed to look at the clock. The red numbers of his alarm clock told him it was a quarter to three in the morning. He grumbled to himself and rolled back onto his side. Sleep tugged at him, drawing him back in. Whoever was pounding at his door would have to come back later. It was too damn early to be up. He just wanted to sleep, his body exhausted and sore. All the medical tests from the day before had taken their toll. He'd been poked and prodded, stuck with needles and x-rayed. There hadn't been much time for sleeping with all the tests his doctor wanted to run. He closed his eyes, welcoming the feel of his own bed.

Yet he couldn't sleep. The person at his door wouldn't stop knocking. If they hit the door any harder they were going to break it down. Cursing under his breath he slipped out from under the covers. The cool air of the apartment washed over his naked torso. Clad only in his boxer briefs he plodded out of his bedroom and into the living room. Thanks to the soft glow of the streetlight outside he had no need to turn on any of the apartment lights. The constant pounding on the door was making his head hurt. His hand on the doorknob he rested his forehead against the wood, tired and wanting nothing more than to climb back into bed. Even his bones felt tired.

"Who's there?" he asked in a sleep clogged voice.

"Please open the door," came Delko's reply.

Mumbling incoherently to himself he undid the locks and opened the door. Delko stepped in and instantly embraced him. Speed heard the door swing shut. He was shocked to feel Delko's lips on his as they shared their first kiss. It wasn't the greatest kiss but it was better than no kiss at all. Delko held him close, the heat of his body warming Speed. He placed his hands on Speed's waist and pushed him back against the wall. Speed grunted with unhappiness as a low throbbing pain started to grow between his shoulder blades. Apparently Delko misunderstood the grunt as a sexually charged emotion. His hands caressed the bare skin of Speed's abs and lower back. Their lip lock grew more intense as Delko became more turned on.

He had been dreaming of nights like this, having Delko in ways he never thought would happen. It was here and he couldn't even enjoy it. The pain between his shoulders had moved upward along the base of his neck and every second that passed it crept ever higher. He knew that at the rate things were going he was on the road to having another severe headache. Would it cause him to blackout? He placed his hands on Delko's shoulders and tried pushing him away. The stabbing pain returned between his shoulders. It was harsh enough that he had an unexpected reaction to it. The pain, like hot coals on his skin, made him jump a fraction of an inch and resulted in him whacking the back of his head against the wall.

Delko didn't notice the discomfort that Speed was enduring. He moved his lips to Speeds neck. He licked his jaw line, nibbled on his ear. All the while the pain in Speed's body grew in leaps and bounds. He couldn't take it anymore. His head was pounding, the room spinning, black dots dancing before his eyes, even the ringing had returned. He somehow found the strength to push Delko away. Delko stumbled backward in surprise. Speed, hands to either side of his head, slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. Tears fell from his eyes as the pain seized his body in an unbearable grip.

"Oh, god, I hurt you," Delko said with dismay. He crouched down in front of Speed, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Pills," Speed whispered from between clenched teeth.

"Duh, why didn't I think of that," Delko smacked himself in the head as he went to the kitchen. The orange bottle was sitting on the counter, its lid lying beside it. He dumped two of the remaining four pills into his hand and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. When he returned to the living room he found Speed resting his head back against the wall with his eyes closed. "Here," he offered the pills.

Speed took them, downing the pills and the water in one swallow. He let the empty bottle drop to the floor.

Delko sat beside him. "I am so sorry, Timmy. I didn't mean to cause you any pain. I don't know what was going through my head. It feels like forever since I saw you last even though it was only the other day, and things at work haven't improved. The chief of police and Horatio have both received threatening notes. Everything is falling apart and I just…I wanted to see you," he finished somewhat lamely.

"It's alright," answered Speed after a few moments of silence. "You couldn't have avoided the problem anyway."

"I never should have forced myself on you when you opened the door. I don't know what came over me," Delko told him, wrapping an arm around Speed's shoulders and pulling him close. Speed was all too happy to rest his head on Delko's shoulder. "Like I said, I only wanted to see you. I've been so worried about you. Calleigh broke down in tears earlier today when Horatio told us what happened with you. Alexx and Hagen tried to comfort her but I don't think she's going to feel better until you're alright. What won't you tell me what's going on?"

Speed rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Look, if you came here to get the answers that I won't give H, you got another thing coming. I don't want to talk about it."

"Then I won't press the issue. Just assure me that you'll be okay."

Something in Delko's voice made him look at the other man. His eyes overflowed with worry and fear. Now that they were finally together he didn't want them to ever be apart. Speed couldn't blame him. He knew that to some degree things would be okay, wouldn't they? Life could be cruel at times but it wouldn't give him the one thing he's always wanted just to turn around and destroy it. That was beyond cruel.

"Everything will work out in the end," he answered, hoping that saying the words would convince him of the same. "I'm tired. Spending so much time at the hospital for tests takes a lot out of you. And judging by the way you're dressed, you haven't been to bed yet. Why don't we retire to the bedroom and talk in the morning?"

"Sounds like a lovely plan to me," Delko whispered, kissing him on the cheek.


	18. Runnin Out of Heroes

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Eighteen: Runnin' Out of Heroes**

A shrill ringing filled the once silent apartment. Speed rolled over, pulling the covers over his head. He hadn't slept nearly long enough for his exhausted body. Delko stirred beside him. The ringing continued. The simple fact that it disturbed Delko meant that it wasn't only in his head. Speed grabbed his pillow and placed it over his head in an attempt to drown out the annoying sound. He vaguely heard Delko mumbling an apology as he reached for his cell phone on that nightstand. The bed moved as Delko sat up. He grumbled a hello into the phone trying to sound bright and cheerful but he hadn't slept that long either.

"What the hell, you're kidding me," Delko yelled into his phone, now fully awake. He jumped out of the bed and tried to put his pants on with one hand.

Speed peeked out from under his pillow. The sun was trying to find an entrance into the bedroom through the thick curtain and failing. "What the hell is your problem?" he asked Delko in a low voice so that he wouldn't be heard by whoever was on the other end of the line.

Delko looked at him. "What about Speed? Should I call him?" there was a pause while he listened to the other person talking. "That's not fair, H. You know he's going to see it on the news and insist that he come to work." Another pause. "H, come on, that isn't fair." Delko's shoulders slumped. "Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up.

By now Speed was fully awake and sitting up in bed. "What the hell is going on?"

"Those bastards tried to blow-up the police precinct downtown to free their comrade and damn nearly pulled it off," Delko told him as he finally got his pants on. "The bomb malfunctioned and didn't go off with the force it could have. Most of the building has been consumed by flames and there are probably a few dead, a hell of a lot are injured."

Speed climbed out of bed heading for the bathroom. "Just let me get dressed and I'll go into work with you."

"You can't," Delko told him as he slipped his shirt over his head. "Horatio said that if you showed up he'd find the first available person and have them drive you right back here. He doesn't want you working until your doctor okays it."

Leaning against the doorframe Speed fixed him with a glare. "I am so damned tired of everyone worrying about me. I hate sitting around this damn apartment day after day unable to do my job. I want my life back," he practically yelled. "No more visits to the hospital. No more days trying to find something to pass the time. When you walk out that door in a few minutes you'll be stepping into the line of fire and there's nothing I can do about it. Have you any idea how helpless that makes me feel?"

Delko approached him, placing hands on Speed's shoulders. "If I could convince H to let you go to work, I would. But he's just as stubborn as you are. I promise to call you the first chance I get to let you know that I'm okay. I'll keep an eye on Calleigh and Ryan and H to make sure they don't get hurt. Alexx will be safely locked away in the morgue with the back-up of bodies. The minute I'm done working I'll come back. I promise you, Speed." Delko gave him a parting kiss before he left, picking up the keys to his truck which had fallen out of his pocket and where lying on the floor.

Speed stood there trying to comprehend the fact that he was still stuck in the apartment. His boss didn't want him working even when an extra set of hands would have been the best thing. His friends were under fire and he had to stay home a veg on the couch. At least, that's what they all wanted him to do. The silence of the empty rooms and the lack of activities to occupy his mind were driving him crazy. When he had been in the hospital there had at least been people to talk every once in a while. Turning around he went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He couldn't go to work but that didn't mean he had to stay home. He'd find something to do with his time. Anything was better than sitting on his ass feeling completely and utterly useless.

After showering and putting on a fresh pair of clothes he looked over his bedroom. The blankets of his bed were half on the floor. He was never one to make his bed and found that he didn't even want to think about this morning. He had actually shared a bed with Delko. They had done nothing more than sleep side by side, maybe held one another. Still, it was another one of those things he never expected to happen. He felt that making the bed would undo the magic, would make it nothing but a dream. He turned his back on the bed and left his bedroom. As he walked by the TV he thought about turning it to see the news. However, seeing all that mayhem would make him want to be at work even more.

"The world is running out of heroes," he said to himself as he left his apartment behind. He grimaced. This was probably the motivation the Feds would need to step in and take over. He slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses before stepping out into the bright day. Even from his place he could see the dark cloud on the horizon marking the fire at the precinct. It sent a shiver down his spine. He wanted to help. He wanted to be okay.


	19. Liquid Confidence

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

**Author Note: **Not really sure if this can happen to someone but it's just a story, so does it really matter?

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**Chapter Nineteen: Liquid Confidence**

Voices buzzed all around him. Some from a TV, mostly from the people around him, and even there was even that voice that belonged to the sound playing in the background. Why any place with TVs would play music too was beyond him. The glass of beer in front of him was nearly empty and he was contemplating getting another one. He had promised himself that he would never try to drown his sorrows in alcohol again and yet, here he was sitting at a bar and doing just that. He had spent most of the day looking for something to do with all his free time. There had been a trip to the bookstore to look over the latest rack of magazines. He wanted to read the newest Forensic Journal but the magazine wasn't carried in bookstores, and his subscription had run out some time ago. Instead he perused the motorcycle magazines. He flipped through a few of them, not really paying attention to the pictures or the articles.

After that he had taken a trip to the mall and walked around aimlessly for hours until his legs began to hurt and he felt slightly dizzy. Bored out of his skull he had returned to his apartment where he downed the last of his pain medication. Over two hours he had watched TV, cleaned every room, reorganized his bookshelf, and cleaned his service weapon. He played music in hopes of driving away the loneliness. It didn't help any. The hours passed. He watched as noon came and went. Then it was two. Then three. Delko never called him. He couldn't get rid of the nagging voice in the back of his mind that kept spouting off bad things that could have happened to him. Finally tired of having only himself as company he once again ventured out into the world.

And ended up at the bar he was currently sitting at.

With a gulp he finished off his beer. What was it, his fourth or his fifth? He didn't remember and he didn't really care. The bartender came to whisk away his glass. He covered his mouth as a yawn escaped him. A glass, much shorter than the first, was placed in front of him a few seconds later. The liquid inside was clear, not the lovely golden shade of the beer he had been drinking.

He looked at the bartender. "What's this?"

"Water," the older man replied. "I'm cutting you off. If I were you, I'd be looking for a ride home. Or do you want me to call you a cab?"

Speed pulled his cell phone from his pocket. "Let's see, who can I call? Calleigh? No, she'll just yell at me. Ryan?" He chuckled. "Maybe when hell freezes over. Frank and John will be too busy. Alexx is out of the question." He yawned. He had gone through the numbers in his phone looking at each name and crossing them off the list. He was left with Horatio and Delko.

The bartender had been standing there listening to him. He tapped the bar when Speed stopped talking to get his attention. "Look, I hate to ask this but are you going to be able to pay your tab?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold your horses," Speed told the man. He placed his phone on the bar and reached into his pocket his wallet. The first black leather billfold he pulled out wasn't what he was looking for but he threw it on the bar anyone. He found his wallet in the other pocket. Opening it he handed the bartender the amount he owed for the beers.

The bartender took his money with a look of pity. "Hey, look, I'll make you a deal. If you can find a ride home I'll let you have just one more. On the house," he said.

Speed looked down at the billfold that he'd thrown on the bar. It was his badge. The bartender was taking pity on him. And he didn't care. He slipped the badge back in his pocket and hit the speed dial on his phone. The bartender waited while he secured a ride. Then went to fetch him the beer that he had promised. He was halfway through the lovely liquid when someone sat in the chair beside him.

"That stuff kills, you should know that," a tired voice said to him.

He turned to look at Horatio. "Yeah, but…" He found that he didn't know what to say.

The bartender came over at that moment and saved him from having to say anything. "You his ride?"

"That I am," answered Horatio. The bartender handed Horatio the set of keys he had collected from Speed. "Thank you." The bartender left them. He turned to Speed. "I'm happy that you called me. May I ask why you're drinking?" He actually grabbed the half empty glass and moved it out of Speed's reach.

"Better question would be why aren't I drinking? Though I guess that would be stupid to ask," responded Speed, not even caring that he'd lost the last of his free beer. "I was feeling hopeless, useless…"

Horatio looked down at the bar, a smile tugging at his lips. "I'm sorry that you couldn't be at work. They're all okay, if you're wondering. We got pretty lucky today. No one died in the explosion. A lot of people got hurt but nothing too serious."

"I'm tired, H," he blurted out all of a sudden. "I'm tired of the pain. My doctor was right. He said that the pills would stop working and the pain wouldn't go away. It doesn't even matter that the pills no longer work. I don't have any more. Took the last of them before I headed here. Even the alcohol hasn't numbed the pain in my neck or the throbbing in my head. And this feeling of a human pincushion is getting old fast."

"Tim-"

"Tomorrow I'm supposed to go in for surgery and I don't know if I can now that I've had so much to drink. My doctor may not want to perform the operation which means I get to wait longer," he grumbled.

"An operation, huh?" Horatio echoed, his pale blue eyes looking Speed over. "What's going on?"

Speed smiled, "Huh, hell, might as well tell you. They didn't remove the bullet from the wound I sustained at the jewelry store. I guess they figured it would do more harm to remove than it would to leave it in. Oh, how wrong they were. It's been traveling, H. It's putting pressure on places that it shouldn't be and the result is this horrendous pain in my upper back and neck, and the cause of my headaches. My doctor says the surgery should be successful in removing it…"

"But?"

"There's a chance I could end up paralyzed from the neck down," Speed finished.

"That's what you didn't want to tell me," he said in a measured tone. "You're afraid that you'll lose your job. Tim, let's just take things one step at a time. When is your surgery scheduled for tomorrow?"

Speed racked his brain. "Sometime around four in the afternoon I think."

"Alright," Horatio began as he climbed off the bar stool. "Let's get you home and into bed. I'll be at the hospital tomorrow when you wake up. So you won't be alone."


	20. The Lucky

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Twenty: The Lucky**

Speed found himself in the hospital the next day at around four-o-clock. It wasn't the place he wanted to be. Would he be alright when he came out? Would he be able to walk and use his arms? Or would he have to start looking at life in a whole knew light? No one was there for him as the doctor came for him, whisking him away to the operating room. He feared going under the knife again. As they wheeled his bed toward the OR he found himself praying that Horatio would keep his word and be there when he woke up. He didn't want to be alone when, and if, he found out he could no longer use his own body.

The doctor placed a mask over his nose and mouth. "Alright, count backward from one hundred to one. When you wake-up the cause of your pain will be gone." Speed could have sworn the man winked at him as he began to count backwards. He was out like a light before he hit ninety-five.

While the doctors worked his mind continued to process information and throw out random pictures. He dreamed of Calleigh and Hagen getting married in the Florida Keys. That wasn't going to happen any time soon. Not if he knew Calleigh. There was a dream of Ryan getting tired of working in the lab and returning to the police force to seek his detective's badge. He saw Yelina and Alexx. Even Frank was there, celebrating his retirement. And through it all Speed saw himself standing between Horatio and Ryan. His twin pillars of strength. The two most important people in his life. One had his heart and soul; the other had his loyalty and respect. They carried him from day to day in their hearts and their minds. They experienced his ups and downs and dealt with his problems as they surfaced. As the dreams progressed he realized that something was wrong, something was off. He couldn't put his finger on it, though. It was almost like a shadow hung over everything. Some sort depressing cloud that kept them all from feeling the happiness they deserved. But what was it?

Eventually the dreams faded and he felt like he was floating in a world of darkness. In the distance he saw a small pinprick of light. He raced toward it, watching as it grew ever larger with each step. And before he knew it he was staring at the stark white ceiling of his hospital room. All the humming and beeping of the machinery around him finally reached his ears. He was able to smell the sterileness that every hospital had. He felt the cooling air circulated around the room. It all happened gradually like he was resettling in his body a fraction at a time. The experience was strange and scary. And it was something he hoped to never experience again.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look into the bright shining light a tiny flashlight. His brain screamed at the sudden brightness and he closed his eyes.

"Is that normal?" he heard Horatio ask the doctor. Relief washed over him at the sound of his boss's voice. He had kept his promise.

"I'm not surprised by it, if that helps any," the doctor replied in a vague manner.

"He told me why he was here, so there's no reason to keep anything from me," Horatio told the doctor. His voice was measured and had the slightest hint of annoyance to it.

"It's too early to tell if it's a bad reaction," the doctor told him. He was checking the various machines. "The area has been aggravated by the surgery. We won't know until later today how he's going to fair. Sorry, Tim, but you'll have to wait a few hours longer to know how it went."

The doctor left them. He had been listening with his eyes closed, not strong enough to look at the doctor in case the news was bad. Now that they were alone he found himself once again staring at the ceiling. So many questions and thoughts were running through his mind. All the dreams came rushing back to him all at once. He couldn't make heads or tails of anything. Someone took his hand in theirs and he was reassured by the fact that he could feel their warmth.

"Delko wanted me to pass a message onto you," Horatio said, his voice soft. "He told me to tell you that he's okay and he's sorry that he didn't call. Had I known that he was to call you I wouldn't have kept him so busy."

"It's okay," Speed said finally looking at his boss. It shocked him once again to see how rundown and tired his boss looked. If he didn't know any better it looked as though he'd lost weight. The suit he wore just kind of hung off his frame. "You haven't been taking care of yourself," Speed said before he realized it.

Horatio smiled slightly. "Too much work to be done. Cops throughout the state are in the crosshairs. How can I find the time to rest? And one of my best men is lying here in the hospital. Don't worry about me, Speed. I need you to focus on getting better. I need you back in the lab. I can't go five minutes without Delko or Calleigh asking me how you are. Even Ryan has been hounding me for information. They try to catch me in a moment of down time but those have become so rare."

"How is the investigation going?" He didn't want to talk about the others and hear how worried they were. He didn't want to think about how sick Horatio looked, how frail he appeared. It was disturbing to think of his boss, a strong man, looking frail and weak. "Have you gotten any leads?"

"The Feds sent down a man they use to interrogate terrorists. Hagen and Frank were going to accompany him when I left to come here," Horatio answered. "Hopefully they'll get something out of him. All law enforcement personal, on duty and off, have been placed on red alert. Firefighters and EMT's have started checking people for weapons before treating them. Before too long they'll be a public outcry and we'll be criticized for trying to keep ourselves safe."

"The world is falling apart," Speed said shortly.

Horatio checked his watch. "I have a few phone calls to make. I promise that I won't leave without saying goodbye. I'll be right outside the door."

Horatio went out the door and the doctor walked back in almost instantly. "Let's have a test of those reflexes, shall we?" For the first time in days Speed was happy to feel the pain of needles as the doctor tested his ability to feel. With a smile the doctor stood back. "Well, you have feeling throughout your body, that's an amazing good sign. The only thing that bothers me now is the light sensitivity. If that goes away I don't see why you shouldn't make a full a recovery."

"So it's over, the pain is over?"

"Yes, it should be over," the doctor assured him with a smile.


	21. Greyhound Bus

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Twenty-one: Greyhound Bus**

Two Hummers, five cop cars, and a police helicopter that was sharing the air space with a news helicopter. They all watched one thing; a Greyhound bus. Speed sat on the couch in his living room watching the live action news report of the chase. On the bus was the man suspected of starting the war against the police. He didn't want to go out quietly and gracefully. No, instead he opted to kidnap an entire bus of people, holding the driver at gunpoint. Speed hated having to be home watching it when he knew that his friends were part of the pursuit. He wanted to be with them. He wanted to do his job. He had been out of the hospital for nearly three days now. The light sensitivity was gone. And he still got a minor headache now and then with some stiffness in his neck but the doctor assured him that it was normal. However, it was still going to be another week before he was cleared for work, and even then he'd only get to work in the lab. The doctor wanted him to take things easy. A month in the lab, then he could return to working in the field. He didn't even care that it would take forever to get into the field. He just wanted to be at work again. He wanted to feel useful.

Things had been progressing fast in the last few days regarding the case of the police attacks. The prison, tired of being kept away night and day by Feds and Horatio, had finally broken down and given up the others. Most of them were captured in a daring daytime raid that could have quickly gone bad. Only two officers, two SWAT members to be exact, received injuries in the raid. The leader escaped to live another day. And now he was running from the authorities on TV.

Speed watched as the Greyhound bus flew down the highway at an amazingly high speed. The entire state of Florida was helping in the chase. There wasn't any traffic in front of the bus as the highway and all the on-ramps had been shut down. Nobody wanted to see innocent lives destroyed. Even those chasing the bus were keeping a safe distance, not wanting to make the gunman inside feel agitated. The clock chimed. Pulling his eyes from the events on the TV he looked at the time. If he didn't get to the store things would never be done in time. Not that it looked as though it would matter. The chase was going to make them all late. He flipped off the TV and headed out the apartment to get to the store.

He was happy that he chose to walk instead of taking his motorcycle to the grocery store. The roads were all backed up with the highway being shut down. He whistled as he strolled down the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets. He felt the weight of his service revolver in the holster on his hip. Even though he wasn't allowed to work he refused to leave the house without it. The gun was as much a part of him as his job was. At the store he picked up the few items that he would need and paid for them. On his way out the door he told an old lady the time and picked up a toy dropped by a child in a stroll. The mother smiled at him.

To say that he was happy for the first time in months would have been an understatement. He had everything going for him. The pain and the headaches that had been plaguing him were finally gone. He still had full mobility of his body which meant he still had the job he loved so dearly. And best of all, the greatest love of his life was beginning to play out. Everything in his world was going in the right direction for once. He was even thinking about calling home as he stepped into the elevator of his apartment building.

Back in his place he began to make dinner. Tonight he was going to have a house full of people. It was a celebratory dinner for him, and if things went well with the chase, it would be a celebratory dinner for solving a treacherous case. He kept the radio on while cooking to listen to the reports coming through for the police chase. With dinner in the oven he slipped into the shower to freshen up. He rubbed on the slightest bit of cologne. Before fixing the table he checked to see how dinner was cooking. Then he went to set the table. He had invited everybody but had to remember who was able to show up. Of course Calleigh, Delko, Horatio, and Alexx would be there. Ryan was a possibility. He had accepted the invitation with some hesitation. If Calleigh came Hagen would more than likely come too. Alexx would be alone, her husband busy with work. Frank planned to be there. Valera had called to cancel earlier in the day. She still wasn't feeling good. He didn't blame her. He did a mental count. That meant seven people for dinner. He hoped they all fit at the table comfortably. If he planned to do this again he'd have to buy a bigger table.

As he returned to the kitchen to start the last half of dinner he heard the report come across the radio that the chase was over and that the suspect was in custody. He smiled with relief and shut the radio off. Once they finished up at work everyone would start showing up at his door and a night of relaxation would begin.

An hour later they all showed up at once. Kisses and hugs were dished out. The only person missing from the festive and happy group was Frank. When he inquired about the location of the missing detective the others told him that Frank had ended up stuck at work. Seemed the Feds had really taken a liking to him and wanted his help with more of the paperwork and other legal things. He had instructed them to give Speed his apologies.

The food was served and they all sat at the table to enjoy the meal when Ryan stood, his glass in his hands. "I purpose a toast, to solving the biggest case that Florida has seen in some years. To the health of Speed and his quick return to the lab. And to us, may our friendship last another year."

"I'll toast to that," Speed said with a smile.

They spent the next hour talking about all sorts of things. There was laughing and good cheer. Delko, who had sat next to Speed, placed his hand on Speed's thigh every now and then. Jokes were told, old cases retold, and gossip spread. They enjoyed one another's company the way friends should; with love and light hearts. Even after dinner was done and dessert passed they sat around the table well into the night. After everything that had gone on lately it was nice to be happy. It was something they all so desperately needed.

Horatio was the first to go home, saying something about needing to get some sleep now that things would settle down. After that, one by one, they all trickled out the door until Delko was the only one left. For the first time that night he was able to hold Speed close and kiss him.

"I wish we could have talked before dinner. Tonight would have been a time to tell the others about us," Delko said as he gathered up the dirty dishes on the table.

"I don't know. I'm not ready to tell them," Speed said in response as he flopped into the chair nearest him. "I like it being a secret. I like having this as something only you and I know about right now. It's still new. Can't it just be you and me for a little while?"

Delko smiled. "Whatever makes you happy."

"You make me happy," Speed said, realizing that it sounded kind of cheesy. "Being back at work with the people I care about most will make me even happier. I miss spending my days with you guys."

"We miss you too," Delko stated as he walked into the kitchen. The apartment was silent for a moment until he returned. "It's just not the same without that grumpy mood you've been stuck in since I met you."

"Hey," Speed objected, throwing a napkin at Delko, who laughed.


	22. Guilty

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Twenty-two: Guilty**

The sun broke through the clouds that covered most of the sky. The rays slipped between the cracks in the curtains to spread across the carpet in Speed's bedroom. He felt a hand on his side. It slow slid down to his stomach, draping him in a one armed embrace. He was pulled backward into Delko's warm body. It felt so right. A kiss was placed on his cheek with loving care.

"Morning," Delko said to him. His voice was too happy to be up this early.

Speed rolled onto his back. "You have to work, don't you?" His own voice was groggy and thick with sleep.

"Yep, but it's Friday. We can spend all day tomorrow getting on each other's nerves. What do you say, sound like a plan?" he asked while sliding out from under the covers. Speed was more than happy to watch him walk across the room in only his boxers. They hadn't gotten to the point of sex but they slept comfortably side by side in their underwear.

"I guess," he replied reluctantly. "I have no idea what I'm going to do today."

"There's a whole pile of dishes in the sink from last night," called Delko from the bathroom.

"Gee, thanks," Speed grumbled as he spread himself across the bed. The other side was still warm with Delko's body heat. He heard the shower turn on and knew that the conversation was over for the time being. He'd have to think of some smartass remark for when Delko returned.

--------

The sound of ringing broke through the fog of his mind. He rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes. Outside the sun was trying in vain to get hold of the sky, the clouds were thick though. The ringing persisted. He looked at the clock on his nightstand and was shocked to see that it was nearly noon. He didn't remember falling asleep. He hadn't gotten to say goodbye to Delko. Reaching over he grabbed his cellphone and grumbled when he saw the phone number displayed on the screen. This wasn't a call he really wanted to answer. But they had to be calling for a reason.

"Hey, mom," he answered. "What's up back home? You don't usually call me."

"You don't have the decency to call home and let anyone know that you're okay? We've all seen the reports on the news, Tim. You could have at least called," his mother laid the guilt on thick. "What has been keeping you so busy that you couldn't just stop and think of us?"

"I'm sorry, mom," he apologized, trying to hide the sigh in his voice. He climbed out of bed and stretched his well rested muscles. "At lot has been going on here. I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Are you at work?" she asked him.

"No, mom, I'm not going back to work until next week," he answered honestly. He was tired of looking for approval from his parents. And he knew that if he lied to her now she'd found out about it somehow and he'd never hear the end of it.

"Why?" she inquired. He quickly filled her in on the problems he'd been having but made sure to leave out most of the painful details. When he finished all he heard was silence on the other end of the phone. For a minute he though she'd hung up. "Tim, why didn't you call us? Why don't you ever call us anymore? I don't even know what's going on in my baby's life."

He sat on the bed and rubbed a hand over his forehead. "Mom, I'm sorry, really I am. It slipped my mind, okay? And I don't call home because dad won't talk to me and you keep trying to get me to come home."

"We love you, Tim," his mother told him. She didn't bother to try hiding the sorrow in her voice. "It's been so long since you've been home. What keeps you there? Have you finally found a girl?"

He smiled at the irony of her question. "Well, I did find someone. But-"

"Oh, Tim, that's great," his mom cut in joyfully. "Why don't you bring her for a visit? Your father and I would like to meet her."

"Mom, you've already met 'em and it's not a girl," he told her. He wanted more than anything to hang-up and go wash the dishes. Anything was better than the third degree he was about to get. At least it was his mother and not his father on the other end of the line. A few minutes passed without his mom saying a word. He checked his phone to see if the call had been dropped or if she had hung up. "Mom?"

He heard her sigh. "I thought you were passed chasing boys, Tim. You outgrew that in college."

"I can't outgrow it, mom," he said a wee bit louder than he had meant to. "I'm not going to settle down with some girl and live the American dream. It's not going to happen. You and dad need to stop dreaming about it. See, this is why I never call home or visit. You still refuse to accept me for who I am."

"Tim-"

"Look, mom, I have a lot of things that I need to get done today. We'll have to finish this conversation another time," he told her making sure she was aware that she'd hurt him. He hung up the phone before she got the chance to say a word in return.

He dropped the phone on the nightstand and went to take a shower. All the while he heard the disapproval and disappointment in his mother's voice. She never wanted to accept the fact that her baby boy liked guys, not girls. He did admit to himself that he missed seeing his parents but how could he visit them knowing that they didn't approve of him? Shutting off the water he thought about calling Delko and getting his advice. He smiled as he dried himself with a towel. There was no need to call Delko; he would see him in a few hours when he finished working. Feeling clean and ready for the day he put on fresh clothes and went to tackle the stack of dishes in the kitchen. No sooner had he turned the water on then someone knocked on his door. Trying to forget the conversation with his mother he went to see who was calling on him.

He was surprised to see Horatio at his door. "H, what are you doing here, shouldn't you be working?"

Horatio smiled at him. "I just wanted to talk to you, Speed. There…there's something I want to tell you."


	23. Better Man

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Twenty-three: Better Man**

Delko didn't realize he was smiling as he walked into the lab. When he'd gotten out of the shower Speed had fallen back to sleep and he didn't have the heart to wake him up. He would call him around lunch time and see how his day was going. For now he had a whole lab full of evidence that needed going over. It was going to be a long day. He waltzed passed the repair crews that were busy trying to put the place back together. He waved at Alexx as he passed by her on her way to the morgue. They were all able to relax now that the man responsible for the recent attacks was sitting in a Federal prison. Walking into the Trace lab he grabbed a white coat and slipped it on. The place wasn't the same without Speed around but that would all change in a few more days. The grumpy lab tech would be back and things returned to normal. They'd been to hell and back. Now things were going to look up for all of them. At least that's what he believed.

He busied himself going through the evidence, taking samples and running them through various tests until the answers were given to him. He got so lost in his work that he didn't hear the door open or the click of shoes on the floor. When someone placed a hand on his back he nearly dropped the glass container in his hands on the table. He heard Calleigh giggle.

"Gee, lost in your work. You're beginning to remind me more and more of Speed," she remarked with a smile.

He flashed her his trademark smirk. "Oh please, I'm not grumpy enough to be him. Plus, the just out of bed look doesn't work for me. I've tried."

"You two seemed pretty chummy last night. Is there anything you want to tell me?" there was a mischievous and knowing sparkle in her eyes.

"How long have you known?" Delko asked as he set one of the machines to run another test on a foreign substance.

"A lot longer than you have," she smiled. "Call it a woman's intuition. Or maybe I'm just really good at my job. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at you. And didn't you ever notice that you two spent a lot of time together while working? Who do you think was responsible for that, hm? Not H," she replied before he had the chance to. "I think Horatio knows, too. I think that's why he always let Speed pair up with you. Took you long enough to get the hint, though."

"Does the whole damn lab know?" Delko asked. He couldn't believe that Calleigh and Horatio already knew. So much for Speed wanting it to be a secret. He couldn't wait to tell his lover the latest news.

"No, I don't think Valera or Ryan know. Yet," she added with a smile. "But Ryan will catch on. He is an investigator after all. Oh, and Frank doesn't know."

"But I take it that Hagen does?"

He watched the blush spread across her cheeks. "Well, we have to talk about something besides work."

"Hey, you guys want to go lunch?" Ryan interrupted them. He had stuck his head in the door. Delko checked his watch. So much time had passed. He wanted to call Speed. He wanted to do it in a private place. It would have to wait until after lunch.

"Sure," Calleigh and Delko said at the same time. It made them both laugh. The confused look on Ryan's face only made them laugh harder. They threw off their lab coats. While they walked down the halls they chatted about the dinner from the night before and brought up some of the same topics. Delko really wished Speed could be with them. Then he had an idea. Why couldn't Speed join them for lunch? He excused himself to make the phone call. Calleigh gave him a knowing look and he just rolled his eyes. When he returned he was frowning.

"Something wrong?" Calleigh asked him as they climbed into one of the company Hummers.

"He didn't answer," replied Delko, climbing behind the wheel. "Where do you want to go?"

The spent the next five minutes arguing over what restaurant to hit for the lunch hour. Calleigh wanted Chinese while Ryan wanted burgers and fries. Delko put his vote in for something spicy. The radio crackled as a message came across. The stopped talking, the words sinking in as the message was relayed. The once happy and carefree mood was swept away by the worry that settled in. there was an unspoken mutual agreement that they'd forget about lunch and respond to the call. Delko drove like mad, making it to the scene in record time. His heart beat like a hammer in his chest as he pulled the Hummer into the apartment parking lot. An ambulance sat outside, lights flashing. The paramedics were loading someone into the back but they closed the doors before any of them got a chance to look inside. He braked hard, throwing the car into park and rushing from the Hummer in hopes of stopping the ambulance from pulling away. He was too late.

As the ambulance pulled away he saw Speed standing in the entryway of the building. His arms were crossed over his chest as he held himself. His eyes were downcast and the spirit seemed to have left his body. Delko ran to him, throwing his arms around him. "God, I thought I'd lost you. I thought..." He felt Speed shake as he began to cry. He held him tighter wishing that he knew what was wrong.

"What's going on?" Calleigh asked quietly. Ryan was standing beside her.

Delko pushed Speed away softly. He looked into the empty eyes of the man he loved. "What happened, Timmy?"

Slowly they managed to get the story out of him. Horatio had shown up at his door wanting to talk about something. He wanted to tell Speed the truth saying that he owed him that much. Speed choked on the words as he tried to relay the message. He was able to explain to the others how he'd been worried about H looking tired and rundown. Though he thought it was just the job taking its toll. He wasn't ready for the truth. None of them were. Ryan gathered Calleigh into his arms as she began to cry. There were tears in his eyes. Delko cried too but he pushed for the rest of the story. Speed told them how Horatio came clean, telling him about the cancer that was taking his life away. They talked about it for a while when Horatio excused himself to get a drink. He'd collapsed and Speed couldn't revive him. He called nine-one-one hoping that they could help. The paramedics said little to him as they worked on Horatio. They placed him on a stretcher and rushed him to the hospital.

Delko pulled him close, holding him for all he was worth. The sun stopped fighting for the right to shine. It let the gray clouds settle in, bathing the world in gloom.


	24. Cold Cruel World

**Title: **A Leaf on the Wind

**Disclaimer: **Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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**Chapter Twenty-four: Cold Cruel World**

Horatio passed away two days later. His body finally giving in to the cruel disease. Miami suffered a week of gray days and rain. No one in the lab went to work smiling and laughing the way they used to. The place wasn't the same without the caring red head that had been so much more than a friend to all of them. The day of his funeral it poured. Even in the rain there was an impressive turn out. The CSI's saw people that they helped months and even years ago. Everyone was there to pay their respects to a man that had touched so many hearts. Even Mac Taylor and Danny Messer were present. When the guns were fired the world held its breathe. Time stood still as the coffin was lowered into the ground.

Speed was inconsolable. He had lost his best friend, the man he looked up to, the man that had become so much like a father to him. When the news reached him that he was to take charge of the lab he broke down all over again. Delko was there for him every step of the way, trying to pull him free of the dark depression that settled in. None of them would ever be the same again. The world had lost one of her greatest.

Time did eventually heal all wounds, as it always does. It healed some wounds better than others. Speed took charge of the lab but he never smiled again. He kept pictures of Horatio in his office and tried so hard to fill his shoes. Calleigh eventually married Hagen. Frank was promoted to lieutenant. The others- Delko, Valera, Ryan, and Alexx- went about their daily lives trying to restore order to a world that was losing to the bad guys.

And every Sunday Speed could be found sitting beside a beautiful headstone in the cemetery. Sometimes he would be seen talking. But most of the time he just sat there, tears in his eyes. Horatio had tried to change the cold cruel world only to lose the most important battle of them all.

Every Sunday, as the sun began to sink into the ocean, Delko would arrive at the cemetery to gather Speed and take him back to their home.


End file.
